Why do so many people just exist

[BlueSky]

Yes Sarian, I too wonder what this is all about. I don't have the answer.
I still feel tremendous saddness at things like you mention or when bombs go off in tall buildings in the name of God, or when a tsunami takes the lives of 10,000 people.
So much so that I have to put it aside.
It's tough being a loving, compassionate person.
I hope you find what this is all about.............I have not been successfull on figuring what it is all about but I have been successful in figuring what some of it is about and that seems to make life awesome in spite of all the other stuff.
Bless you and your kind loving, nature which shines thru in your words.....
Lets change together what we can together......
James

[Sarian]

Thank you, James. I think I come across as something nasty, but thank you for not thinking that. I tend to be too blunt. I think sometimes if you've taken hits all your life, turned the other cheek, sometimes you just get angry. I've always stood up to things I didn't agree with. I used to be a CNA for example...I saw so much abuse it boggled my mind. People were in charge to care for people, and yet I saw a very large aid berate an elderly woman all the way down the hall and then throw her on the toilet. I looked into the eyes of the elderly woman as she cried "Why does she do this to me, why does she hate me, why does she hurt me" and I had no answer for her other than I vowed no one would hurt her that way again and I went and turned that aid in. In turn I was given the most 'difficult' people to tend to, instead of addressing the abuser. I was supposed to just be quiet. Their so called difficult patients and residents, I had no problem with because I was kind, caring and loving and I studied them, (for example contractured people who cannot move or feed themselves), so I would study the movements they did make, say in eating, and find ways to feed them easily and without causing pain... I went onto work in other places and saw even worse abuse, I would not sit by and watch, or be quiet, I reported them and it was like no one listened, no one cared. One of my biggest regrets was quitting simply out of frustration, and ashamed of the job I had then. I should have kept speaking up over and over...not wimp out and leave. But now I have a second chance as a nurse, when I complete college. My biggest problem with being a nurse is I'm more into eastern medicines and practices than western, but maybe I'll work those into my life at some point, but I also want to be a hospice nurse to help bring peace and ease the fear of death. Rambling...sorry... I just don't understand how people can be so hateful, so cruel, so uncaring and if there are angels and guides, why can't they kick those kinds of people in the @ss or give them a wake up call.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Sarian

Thank you, James. I think I come across as something nasty, but thank you for not thinking that. I tend to be too blunt. I think sometimes if you've taken hits all your life, turned the other cheek, sometimes you just get angry. I've always stood up to things I didn't agree with. I used to be a CNA for example...I saw so much abuse it boggled my mind. People were in charge to care for people, and yet I saw a very large aid berate an elderly woman all the way down the hall and then throw her on the toilet. I looked into the eyes of the elderly woman as she cried "Why does she do this to me, why does she hate me, why does she hurt me" and I had no answer for her other than I vowed no one would hurt her that way again and I went and turned that aid in. In turn I was given the most 'difficult' people to tend to, instead of addressing the abuser. I was supposed to just be quiet. Their so called difficult patients and residents, I had no problem with because I was kind, caring and loving and I studied them, (for example contractured people who cannot move or feed themselves), so I would study the movements they did make, say in eating, and find ways to feed them easily and without causing pain... I went onto work in other places and saw even worse abuse, I would not sit by and watch, or be quiet, I reported them and it was like no one listened, no one cared. One of my biggest regrets was quitting simply out of frustration, and ashamed of the job I had then. I should have kept speaking up over and over...not wimp out and leave. But now I have a second chance as a nurse, when I complete college. My biggest problem with being a nurse is I'm more into eastern medicines and practices than western, but maybe I'll work those into my life at some point, but I also want to be a hospice nurse to help bring peace and ease the fear of death. Rambling...sorry... I just don't understand how people can be so hateful, so cruel, so uncaring and if there are angels and guides, why can't they kick those kinds of people in the @ss or give them a wake up call.

No you didn't come across as nasty, just frustrated at not being understood. i understand that one well....lol
I was a volunteer hospice worker for a couple of years a year or so back and it was an awesome experience for me and my assigned patients. I never met one hospice worker who didn't exhibit the kind of love and respect you describe and value.
Nurses however, if my kids were in the hospital, my wife or I felt the need to stay at all times because of the quality of care and nurses.
Good luck with school!
Be the change!
James

[krishna]

At the end of the day all humans have free will.
Light peace and knowledge.
Krishna.

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by WhiteShaman

No you didn't come across as nasty, just frustrated at not being understood. i understand that one well....lol
I was a volunteer hospice worker for a couple of years a year or so back and it was an awesome experience for me and my assigned patients. I never met one hospice worker who didn't exhibit the kind of love and respect you describe and value.
Nurses however, if my kids were in the hospital, my wife or I felt the need to stay at all times because of the quality of care and nurses.
Good luck with school!
Be the change!
James

My daughter had to stay in the hospital days after she was born (we both got the flu while just after her birth)...I stayed. I have a friend who became a nurse in March and honestly, the horror stories I hear make me sometimes wonder what I'm getting into. Apparently, money and job stability are the number one reason for people getting into nursing. (sadly)... I originally wanted to be a nurse early on, but my math phobia kept me from that (and I still have that phobia, but I'm doing better)...and also my soon to be ex came into my life and wouldn't leave and my life took different turns...so now I'm taking my life back. I have been put in so many situations where someone was coming to the end of their life, that it really just seemed right for me to be a hospice nurse. I hope I can be the change, James. I really hope so.

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by krishna

At the end of the day all humans have free will.
Light peace and knowledge.
Krishna.

So true....

Originally Posted by Sarian

So true....

Sarian I enjoyed your posts and wanted to comment on what a gorgeous life purpose you have

[Sarian]

Thank you so much, LaurenAus. That means a lot to me, although I have times I'm not sure what it is, other times, i am very much sure.

[Silver]

I admire you for speaking up when things would get abusive at your job. How could you know the response would be not only just inadequate but make things worse, at times. It's so shocking to see how being a very caring, conscientious person gets turned around and now you're portrayed as a tattler. I feel horrible for you that these things happened.

[Sarian]

Thanks Silvergirl. I was shocked at how I was treated. I am a quiet person but one thing I could never tolerate was abuse. I had to deal with my own and having no one coming to my aid or defense, and I can recall times I dared to speak up about it only to be slapped in the face and hated. I cannot stand by and watch others or animals go through that. When I got another job and saw more abuse, such as a co-worker telling me to only change the "Depends" on people, do not clean them, and the berating and shoving I got when I said I cannot do that (a man had horrible diarrhea and leaving it would cause his skin to break down in sores and infection) this co-worker expected me to not clean him, just change him. I refused, and then a blind woman was eating her dinner and this same woman said to the blind woman, "you are done eating, you ate everything..." I grabbed her hand and told the blind woman, No, you still have food, keep eating. The co-worker started to bully me, i said this woman is blind, and she is old and has little enjoyment at this time and she is enjoying her food and she needs her food and yet you want to steal that away from her? i was livid. I reported her, and in turn, I was treated miserably by the staff. I was weak and they made my existence there unbearable. I fell into such a depression and left. On a positive note, someone listened and began to watch this woman and she was found out and fired, but not only that, criminal charges were placed upon her. There was a big article in the paper. I was shocked when I read it, but so grateful. Those are just a few of the things I encountered.

I do not know why people are afraid to speak up, but I guess, in some ways I understand, but we shouldn't let fear lead us, and we shouldn't let apathy rule as well.