My journey into Christianity and how it changed me

[Morpheus]

Very good post Elfay! It's about objectivity and perspectives, isn't it? Hard to maintain objectivity at times, but, if we can and realize the Truth, it will be of great comfort.

[Elfay]

"Even though, by nature, I am a doubter, I have no other choice but to believe in God..." A very real and powerful quote that I've often said.

I believe in God, there is no doubt in my mind of His existence, it's how His exiatance is shoved down your throat I question.

Elfay, Prior to 2011 I had always wondered (like many other people) how am I able to fear Jesus/God and Love Jesus/God at the same time. After fully opening up my Heart to Jesus/God during 2012 and 2013, receiving Jesus speaking to my heart during December January, February and March, it has become 'Lovingly clear'; and most people wont like it most unfortunately.

You see, we were all 'supposed' to live lives in God and for God as greatly as possible, following each and every one of His Commandments. Failure in following God's Commandments (and I had broken most to be honest), 'without being remorseful for each and every one of those sins repenting over the years' results in the 'Fear of God' when our Souls pass over if not while dying. The white tunnel stuff that people see and recall is only a tiny part of what is met thereafter ie our Souls meet.

God is a Just Disciplined Judge at the same time Jesus is our Merciful Saviour IF we repent our sins to Jesus/God prior to passing over. Otherwise it is the ways of our Souls in which we "know about the reality of the consequences of sin on our Souls) in which Esdra through Jesus/God and by Jesus/God outlined in Esdra 75-101 which I posted last evening on the suicide/hell/ thread under Christianity. Without fear of Jesus/God that is relying entirely upon Jesus/God to giving us His Loving Mercy for sins not repented and for our soul being just fine without being remorseful/genuinely contrite and having confessed those.

I have news for people after having received both Jesus and our Heavenly Mother speaking to my heart daily and weekly.

"We not only come to the Foot of Jesus/God, through God our Heavenly Father (FEAR greatly people for all sins unrepented) because what I heard God saying in the background when Jesus was speaking to my heart on a couple of occasions giving Holy Messages, would make a grown tough man who is sin-less slide down into his seat or run for the hills"! Once God speaks through Jesus and with Jesus, one's Soul feels as if there is no hope at all, whether one repents genuinely in sorrow to Jesus or not.

I have never feared Jesus/God my Saviour. I have never feared God unless when lightning has occurred. I fear nothing else or any one else in life. I have stood up to my fears from Childhood and during a hard abusive violent marriage.

I warn you all (for your Soul good), FEAR God, because if you don't, there is little hope of making Holy Purgatory let alone ever going into Heaven to be with Jesus/God.

We are judged according to what we have done for God and what we have not done according to God and His Commandments; this Holy Message through Jesus and our Heavenly Mother Mary.

Our Heavenly Mother Mary says:

"Fear God greatly My Children because if you do not My Children, Souls are lost to Him, My Children. It is then too late, My Children, without repentance to be saved".

"That is all".

A tip for all people is to pray and ask Jesus/God through our Heavenly Mother Mary to "Call to mind our sins both mortal and venial". You will be surprised at what Jesus/God term Mortal and Venial. Sins that we may think are venial or sins that are not important, are indeed the most serious (sins) against Jesus, God and The Holy Spirit punishable which can result (unrepented without our hearts opened to Jesus in genuine remorse) in hell and we never come out of that place. Not souls wandering around within hell nice and easy or visiting earth nice and easy to call in silently to relatives. Never under-estimate satan and hell.

More importantly and paramount: never under-estimate God's punishment which awaits each of us and never under-estimate God's Wrath in which we hear and face when meeting Jesus/God His Beloved Son. Jesus is able to save as many as Jesus/God is able to save, however, a great many cannot be saved.

Jesus/God cannot give His Loving Mercy to those whom do not believe in Him, have failed to repent their sins in genuine remorse, whom have Blasphemed Him or God's Holy Name (without repentance during their lives) scorned, ridiculed or delivered the wrong ways in which He set down through His New Testament through His Disciples and Apostles, have "misguided" the public, turning them away from His Churches to receive His Holy Eucharist and Blessed Sacraments, those whom have destroyed His Christian Churches in which Jesus is present in His Holy Tabernacles, (these are serious sins and we are accountable) - these Christian Churches "house" His Holy Tabernacle in which He is present and His Holy Appointed; regardless of whether these Holy Appointed (God's Priests, Ministers, Pastors, Deacons) are human beings who sin just like the rest of us; God appointed most of His Holy Appointed through prayers of each congregation. Make no mistake, satan's had its day in relation to its attempt to ruin God's Christian Churches and persuade people to turn away.

In fact, thousands around the world are 'flocking' back to the Catholic Church for one (its been noted this year) and many other Churches in my Country are filling up each weekend and during the week. Therefore, for a period of 30 years or so, when satan attacked a few of the Christian Clergy for the attempted ruination of the Catholic Church; people have seen and received God's Truth in His Holy Spirit through His Loving Wisdom about the period that satan thought it would reign for the ruination of Jesus Christian Churches. Its trying to ruin the Anglican C of E now in one country, tried ruining all of the Catholic and Christian Churches throughout the Middle East (through rebels) for generations.

However, where Jesus' Holy Tabernacle with Jesus/God present, resides, His Church will be re-built literally, will call back all of His Children (those whom genuinely love and believe in Jesus/God), will be packed again receiving His Blessed Sacraments, and those whom have been 'lost' during their lives.

I receive Jesus/God's and our Heavenly Mother's Holy Messages about many things in between receiving God's Holy Callings and all the Glory and Honour are Yours Dear God our Heavenly Father now and forever Amen.

I have viewed it over the past few years visiting various Catholic Churches for various reasons, with most Churches packed (people standing at the back) most weekends - Easter time and Christmas time of course people are standing outside each of His "Blessed" Churches.

In the earthly context we "think" we don't need to visit Jesus/God Holy Presence in one of His Christian Churches now living; however, a different scenario and experience after we pass over for our souls, which in summary, is the point I am making.

Questions are asked of every one of us Elfay.

Including the hurt and sorrow felt by Jesus/God in which He experiences when we have not made the effort to spend a moment of our time in one of His Christian Churches in which God has worked extremely hard to set up through the generations of His Apostles of every ERA/Generation.

All through God Elfay and many people (non Church goers) are totally oblivious to the Holy fact.

Kindest wishes Elfay





"It's not just that I don't believe what I'm told it feels wrong. I cannot worship a fear based God. The bible talks about love, loving The Lord with all your heart but I'm also suppose to fear Him... How can I love & fear Him at the same time? I understand the concept of it, you must fear to obey. I cannot do that. I can only love the God I believe in, I do not fear him. Fear totally god against what I believe".

The problems with Christianity club (and belonging to a church and all that) is that people run it. Just like any other club or meeting that people run it will have problems because people bring them where ever they go.

Of course there are also problems with doctrines, the ones that don't make sense, the ones that seem to contradict other things. The answer is the same: people are responsible for developing doctrines so that's why they are problematic.

Originally Posted by Seawolf

God is what you believe he is about. It doesn't matter what other people believe. They aren't in control of you, and therefore they are not to blame.

We are responsible for what we have done in life and who we have associated with, what we have allowed ourselves to do and believe. It's ok though, we're growing and it's not about feeling guilty about what we have done, but taking responsibility and making a change in ourselves instead of playing the helpless victim or the blame game.

Exactly how I feel.
Thanks for posting my thoughts.
Louise

Originally Posted by Elfay

And how it also opened my eyes to many things...

I grew up with no religion, my dad was Jewish and my
Mother had been raised Catholic. I was neither Jewish nor Catholic having never been baptized I wasn't a Christian either, nor a Jew. Though we celebrated all the Christian holidays and some traditional Jewish ones as well.

I didn't start believing in God until I was about 13. I knew there was a God even though I had never been raised to believe in Him, yet I did.

I struggled for years with it, still never baptized and never accepted in the Jewish faith because my mother wasn't s Jew. That itself confused me but instead I turned to Catholism in my early 20's but I still never converted.

To make a long story shorter I was "Saved" & finally Baptized not long ago. I was "Born again" as a Baptist, at the time it felt right. Very right but since becoming baptized a year later it stopped feeling right. I still have faith and believe in God just not the one I'm being told to praise.

I went from no religion to believing in God, exploring Catholism to becoming a Southern Baptist and now I am back to being spiritual. Christianity turns me off in so many ways, especially Baptists.

I didn't realize this until I was sitting with some friends at a Friday night service and I was so offended by much of what was being preached I found myself tuning it out to escape from it.

I am not putting Christianity down it's just not me. I do believe very strongly in God, Angels and such just not on the way it's preached. I don't believe I'm going to hell because of the life I've chosen to live, the life style I've chosen to live. I don't believe God is condemning me for what I'm doing. Or have done in my past. I totally believe in free will, if God has given us this free will isn't it our choice to live the life we decide is fit for us? I don't feel I need to justify my life to anyone. And I don't.

When asked what I now I say, "I'm spiritual" though I'm not all together sure what that all entails but it lets you know that not religious but I do believe in a God. And I'm totally fine with it.

I may still go to church with friends once in a while bit I can't be a part of a church and their concepts, believes. I don't have that Christian feeling, I felt it when I was saved in 2012 but it didn't last, what I felt. The feeling of God and being spiritual has always been there.

I'm open to other religions but I doubt I'll ever convert again. I may explore my Jewish "roots" from my dad's side but I doubt I'll become Jewish. But who knows, though right now I'm happy with my own believes.

Thank you for sharing.
Seems we have a lot in common, I having come from a Jewish family, with no religion at all. Yor path is so similar to mine. I understand where you are coming from, because it is where I am coming from.
Louise

[Elfay]

I believe there is a whole generation of us out there, not just from one specific generation, rather a combination of many, that have been raised with no spiritual up bringing... No religion what so ever. It use to bother me a lot that I was never given that spiritual foundation as a child, now I'm glad I was never force fed to be either a Christian or Jewish. As of right now, today I don't feel as if I am Christian or a Jew... I'm a human of the human race and I do believe in a higher being, I do believe in a God, I do believe in Jesus, I just don not like it forced down my throat. I also do not believe that being a Christian is any better than any other religion.

I could never force what I believe down anyone's throat. Not do I feel superior because I chose to be a Christian... Or did Christianity chose me? I'm not sure there. Either way I don't feel any better or worse for choosing it... Well not entirely true, there are times, yes I feel bad about being a christian, not anything that I've done, but what other Christian have done...

I do have friends that feel Christianity is the ONLY religion and if you are anything other than a Christian you are inferior... And one of my friends truly believes this with all of her heart. She is a good friend and so not to start an argument I don't say anything -- our friendship means more to me. I tolerate her but I known she may not tolerate what I believe.

[Morpheus]

Wow Elfay. Very well said. Succinct.

On feeling bad about being a Christian, though. So, atheists have not done bad things? Or, stupid things?
Don't feel bad about being a withness for Christ. And, a witness for the Truth.

God is Truth.

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind." - Einstien

Yes, a whole generation who is grown up without a foundation of Faith. The Ten Commandments and spiritual witness removed from the schools.
But, you know what? It is all a known apart from Time, and has been prophesied about. We have been told it would happen.

[SeaZen]

Originally Posted by Elfay

I may explore my Jewish "roots" from my dad's side but I doubt I'll become Jewish. But who knows, though right now I'm happy with my own believes.

If you do explore your Jewish roots, I highly recommend you go straight to exploring "kaballah" instead of traditional Judaism as I heard there are many spiritual truths there.

Oh yeah...I applaud you for not falling for that "fear of a judgmental god" **

Originally Posted by Elfay

I believe there is a whole generation of us out there, not just from one specific generation, rather a combination of many, that have been raised with no spiritual up bringing... No religion what so ever. It use to bother me a lot that I was never given that spiritual foundation as a child, now I'm glad I was never force fed to be either a Christian or Jewish. As of right now, today I don't feel as if I am Christian or a Jew... I'm a human of the human race and I do believe in a higher being, I do believe in a God, I do believe in Jesus, I just don not like it forced down my throat. I also do not believe that being a Christian is any better than any other religion.

I could never force what I believe down anyone's throat. Not do I feel superior because I chose to be a Christian... Or did Christianity chose me? I'm not sure there. Either way I don't feel any better or worse for choosing it... Well not entirely true, there are times, yes I feel bad about being a christian, not anything that I've done, but what other Christian have done...

I do have friends that feel Christianity is the ONLY religion and if you are anything other than a Christian you are inferior... And one of my friends truly believes this with all of her heart. She is a good friend and so not to start an argument I don't say anything -- our friendship means more to me. I tolerate her but I known she may not tolerate what I believe.

You said,
"I believe there is a whole generation of us out there, not just from one specific generation, rather a combination of many, that have been raised with no spiritual up bringing... No religion what so ever. ".

That is not what scripture says, It says "Wide is the road to destruction and many go that way and narrow is the way to salvation and few find it."