Being of service to others w/o attachment

Originally Posted by Gem

So long as it's all mush people will be agreeable, but in my experience love shouldn't have anything to do with it, its very messy and complicated when it becomes about love.

What is needed is non judgement and a good deal of trust, and all the wooly bulldust about compassion and live and pure intention's and fluffy bunnies is emotionally sensational.


Don't worry, people call me cynical or jaded or skewed all the time, I like watching spiritual loving and kind pure intended compassionate people reduced to name calling, as it kinda illustrates my point quite well.

I dig it - I'm not much of a name caller and my definition of love does not equal yours. In fact to practice love is not mushy - it requires a lot of work. But, I'm no there to convince you, just coexist.

Be well.

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by in progress

This is something I've been puzzling over. We are to be of service to others as I understand things but how to do that without getting the ego involved?

I think it would mean not being attached to outcome for one thing. I think it would also mean not seeing another as "broken" and needing to be "fixed". I've heard being of service just means letting your light shine so to speak.

What would egoless service to others look like?

I think the biggest thing would be a true desire to help another because they truly want to and not because they feel or think they have to. For in that you are not doing it with a pure heart and with pure intentions. You end up doing it wanting something in return whether they want it on earth or want it in some afterlife some where.

[Louisa]

I can be attached to the feeling I get when I help people - but as long as I am actually giving help that is wanted and the result helps the people - then the attachment is positive, in my view. People like to feel connected, because of empathy and social instinct. You might call it "love", but I think it's more like "friendship", "lovingkindness", or something, its not just love - sometimes it doesn't feel like love at all, but it is something inside that acknowledges the internconnection of all in a deep way. When we realize this interconnection deeply inside ourselves, then often we naturally want to help.

I think I am attached to the feeling of helping others. The feeling of being of use and of relating and of playing an active part in the whole. As long as I am real about actually helping people as they want and need to be helped, and make sure the help is not unwanted/unneeded or more harm than help, then the attachment part is okay, I think.

Sometimes helping is just being there for someone, which can be one of the best ways to help - it is the intermediate stage of help, the help that doesn't know if it is really doing any good, but has faith that we have to keep trying and keep reaching out. So I am there for my loved ones and people who I care about - and I don't know whether my presence is really going to help them, but maybe if it doesn't "cure" or "fix" their problems, it will at least heal and alleviate some of it, in some way, maybe in ways unseen.

[Tobi]

I don't see any harm in attachment, so long as it doesn't overshadow other important things, such as what the help is all about, or the other Soul(s) involved. And so long as the attachment is flexible, and has a positive way about it so to speak.

[wstein]

Its pretty simple (not to be confused necessarily with easy). Provide what they need and are ready to accept.

The above statement is rather terse so I will clarify; the above does NOT include these typical things related to service:
-give them something you need
-give them what you think they need
-give them what you know they need
-give them what you know is in their best interests
-give them what you didn't get when you were where they are now
-give them something they don't want
-give them something they asked you not to
-feel it necessary to ask them what they want
-tell them why they need a particular thing
-bother to take credit
-wait around until they acknowledge you have given them something
-wait around until you see that you helped

[Gem]

Originally Posted by knightofalbion

It's a job. A job doing good work, yes, but a job that is rewarded with payment.

And yes, those who purport to be spiritual yet use their position, if I may call it that, to gather wealth for themselves, to wallow in the limelight and pick up members of the opposite sex! DISGUSTING behaviour. Total frauds.

'Pure intention compassion styled mush'? Do you have anyone in mind? Without love one won't be ascending very far up the spheres of light. Not very far at all...

Love - Compassion - Service. If ever three words summed up the soul's sacred quest...

No one has to be my pawn in that mission. I know the whole shibang is dressed up in spiritual robes and looks like maharagi sri sri pooh bah, but who's serving who... in this highest of quests? I suspect the vulnerable might be exploited for the sake of someone's quest. Is it about the servers need for love that get's him into the next sphere?

[Gem]

Originally Posted by wstein

Its pretty simple (not to be confused necessarily with easy). Provide what they need and are ready to accept.

The above statement is rather terse so I will clarify; the above does NOT include these typical things related to service:
-give them something you need
-give them what you think they need
-give them what you know they need
-give them what you know is in their best interests
-give them what you didn't get when you were where they are now
-give them something they don't want
-give them something they asked you not to
-feel it necessary to ask them what they want
-tell them why they need a particular thing
-bother to take credit
-wait around until they acknowledge you have given them something
-wait around until you see that you helped

There's a rare and pragmatic comment. That's actually applicable to life! Beats that love mush hands down! teehee

Originally Posted by wstein

Its pretty simple (not to be confused necessarily with easy). Provide what they need and are ready to accept.

The above statement is rather terse so I will clarify; the above does NOT include these typical things related to service:
-give them something you need
-give them what you think they need
-give them what you know they need
-give them what you know is in their best interests
-give them what you didn't get when you were where they are now
-give them something they don't want
-give them something they asked you not to
-feel it necessary to ask them what they want
-tell them why they need a particular thing
-bother to take credit
-wait around until they acknowledge you have given them something
-wait around until you see that you helped

I find myself in agreement with most of this. I’ve highlighted the bits that I don’t feel are necessarily excluded from an act of service. Maybe I’m not understanding fully what service is/is not then... Maybe you could clarify further? For example, asking someone what they want, when they don’t seem to know what they want - people don’t always make clear what it is they want but clearly they are in want/need of something.

[knightofalbion]

Originally Posted by Gem

No one has to be my pawn in that mission. I know the whole shibang is dressed up in spiritual robes and looks like maharagi sri sri pooh bah, but who's serving who... in this highest of quests? I suspect the vulnerable might be exploited for the sake of someone's quest. Is it about the servers need for love that get's him into the next sphere?

As I said earlier, it's solely a question of purity of heart. One's motive must be pure, without thought or wish for reward.

As I also said earlier, if someone is abusing their 'position' for any form of gain - be it getting rich, fame and adulation, attracting members of the opposite sex etc. - then their motive is not pure, they are not of the Light and I would advise not to have anything to do with them.

When it comes to love on the earth plane 'you' can put on an act or 'go through the motions' - and often get away with it, but in the spiritual realm 'you' are seen for exactly who and what 'you' are. Your inner light is reflected in your spiritual being.

[wstein]

Originally Posted by dreamt

Maybe I’m not understanding fully what service is/is not then.

The question answered was not “what is service?”, it was “what is service W/O ATTACHEMENT?”

Originally Posted by dreamt

For example, asking someone what they want, when they don’t seem to know what they want - people don’t always make clear what it is they want but clearly they are in want/need of something.

One of the major parts of without attachment is to leave your stuff out of it. Your stuff includes forms of presumption, projection, judgment, well meaning, and being nice.

“give them what you think they need”: Being of actual service is providing what they want/need, not what you presume to provide. Acting on your presumption is from your attachment to your illusion about them and your attachment about how things ought to be for them. I realize that many may not know how to give something without knowing what it is. All I can say to that is it can be done.

“give them what you didn't get when you were where they are now”: this is you putting them into your attachment from your past, you are trying to heal your past. Treating them as if they were you is being of service to you not them.

“feel it necessary to ask them what they want”: you got part of this, they may not know what they want/need and even if they do, may not tell you. The key word is ‘necessary’, this is your attachment to knowing and feeling secure in that you can provide what they need. Your security and seeking of good feelings is in service to you not them. A subtly here, it does not say you “can’t” ask them. Also at time of crises, just the imposition of having to answer a question makes the other person’s situation worse.

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Acting in service w/o attachment is being in a space of providing for another, not from a space of providing for self. In a sense there is a benefit to you but it does not come from the acts you do nor the benefit provided to people you help. It comes from purity of intent/spirit.

It’s the difference between “I did …” and “they were helped”. In “they were helped” there is no need for the service to be provided, only that they get it. There is no need to assign credit, karma, cause, reward, awareness of what was actually provided. Another way to say this is don’t put yourself between them and what they receive.