Beautiful Life,
It seems like there are often more men that run than women (from those that post here).. But there are some that I think really stand firm on walking in, the truth, of which this tf love represents God's Divine Love.
So, I see ..( this is my take from what you write here ), that your real dilemna, IS that you have to eventually decide what to DO ABOUT the situation you are in.. again this is about the energy (effort to either make it work where you are now, married to your wife, or leave her & start over)...
My perception of those that post here.. it does often have to do with the energy/effort & of both tf's as to how it proceeds. If one is not willing or able to for whatever reason, push through this love/energy/light, then it's about how to get through this life without them present.
From what you say here.. I think some of your struggles that you share, is that you would like to keep walking in the truth & not living a life that is not what you feel is your highest self.. but at the same time you have no idea how it will work out with tf ( if she will work with you) etc.
When I read your posts, I think you are very strong as to what you believe & you are very high energy that you cannot/will not deny this truth.. that's a positive. But, where the difficulties come into play is that you are married now, your wife does love you.. you don't know that this will work out as to timing & your tf's willingness to proceed if she is still available..
As you know & others say, only you can decide what to do..
It sounds like your wife loves you very much & if you could find a peace with your marriage .. to live your life out with her that may be the most fruitful answer to this.. but if you leave, likely you will need time to sort through /heal from what will be many changes in your life, divorce, living alone again, etc.
I & others do hear you I believe because this is very complex & when meeting someone one believes to be a tf, it is very difficult to deny this & with another. I personally think that is healthy, that one can speak truth & that which is Divine.. but as is so often here with these, it's dimensional, oftentimes complicated & so much about the energy.
What I'm trying to say also.. is that these are tests too I believe, in life, tests & lessons. You ARE honest & you ARE of high energy.. so maybe decide the mission here.. either help your wife through the rest of you two's life together.. or if you are not able to do that, perhaps decide to live alone, to sort out things/reorder so that you can one way or another keep moving forward in life (either with tf or not). Not saying you aren't.
I admire your honesty, that & your high energy is palpable & a good thing that you bring to this forum (imo). Maybe at this point in time, decide WHO is NEEDING you in their life NOW.. your wife.. or your tf.. then proceed accordingly. I realize that's what you are trying to decide...
It does seem there are different energies between tf's that .. seems to complicate.. either through circumstance or who each is (personalities/habits etc). There does seem to be some (one of the tf pair) that want to push through & they know themselves.. while the other is not willing to walk it out.. Then there are those (tf's) that are not able to, due to their previous commitments, able to be with this person.
I just feel beautiful life that it seems like you have learned a lot of the lessons thusfar.. & this is a point where you are having to eventually decide what to DO next (the energy again). Just remember.. this ultimately is about ascension (my belief).. Heaven... doing what is right, our highest selves that we see God & live forever with HIM.
There are so many here & different opinions/ideas etc..I think you're on the right track with your honesty with self & those around you but then deciding how to live out the rest of your life in regards is a decision/lessons in how to proceed.
I'm not exactly please supposed tf married me then wanted divorce.. it's been very difficult (more than I could express on here/it's been surreal & such an enormous burden/ not just the divorce but because of all I have seen in this/ to pretend it didn't happen is not real.. ).. BUT what I am working on NOW is my energy again, because it is for me about ascending.
My own health I have felt has taken a huge toll from all of this the last few yrs.. (because of all the losses involved). I am very much high energy & into health foods, doing what is right, pure in & with GOD, & for GOD, which is what this is all about (imo).
I'm putting a ton of energy now into further healing, eating Very healthy, reading a lot about this.. (I already know a lot about it but still learning more).. So the work is .. about ascending, pure, with The Lord, pleasing to HIM (is how I see it). I do NOT want to offend God & I want to do as much naturally, as to health, living, life as possible.
So whatever road you take, continue to exam your heart, intent, purity, truth.. it is the energy for & with GOD that helps us purify.
Also, I have been aware that the focus must be DIVINE, GOD, which could be in part WHY there are so many complications.. the focus must remain on GOD, that we are pure, our energy for HIM. IF our tf is not ready for this & doesn't want to be part of it.. then they are still working on themselves...
not saying it's right or wrong but there's only so much one CAN DO..
in the meantime keep working on yourself, healing.. healthy..
there is much one CAN DO to keep pleasing GOD.. that is what we are here for.. HIS servants.
Your high energy & desire to be honest are strengths that I see from your posts.. & also what you have to offer others here.. & that's a lot.
Do what is right, pleasing to GOD.. & it will work out in His Timing.
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Originally Posted by BeautifulLife
It literally is completely different. I've been with over 130 partners and never experienced anything even remotely close to my TF. It took me a very long time to figure out why that was since physically its not like she "did" anything "speical" that other women haven't done for me in the past. It was the spiritual cord that connected us that provided this overwhelming sense of happiness and peace which really is undescribable. For 10days we pretty much couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Just holding each others hand or feeling her in my arms provided more satisfaction than any orgasum I'e ever had in the past.
The intense attraction between us was one of the cornor stones for the relationship which really stood out as being something unique. This completely blew out of the water any sort of infatuation I've felt in the past. After 5yrs of not seeing her I really have zero doubt that if I showed up at her door and she saw me again that all her defenses and desire to keep running would crummble to the ground. This has been my struggle over the years. Knowing that "I" choose to continue to endure this seperation from my TF since I have the power to end it at any time or at least force the issue back to the surface.
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