Twin Flame magnetic energy

[Mr Interesting]

Why is everybody skirting the issue?

Seems like both of you have some pretty big denial issues going on and your excuses for keeping it all alive and well is a shared life...

It's quite simple really. You've got something every so often that exacts a toll... your choice is to either pay the price or decide not to.

Why is it that you both end up together and in bed.... because it's the drug that takes you away from stuff you need to deal with.

You both gotta stop using the child as a pawn in this game of denial your both playing.

What I've said isn't necessarily true but it needs to be in the mix.

[silke]

Originally Posted by Love406

Yeah, it is more him than me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he says he is not ready to get married again. Before we meet he had recently divorced and according to him it was the worse experience ever and that he does not want to get married again. He constantly tells me that he really wants to break our connection but it is too strong and he can't stop thinking about me, but he still does not want the responsibility of marriage right now. I really have tried to end it but to no avail...And I just recently had a child by him seven months ago so now it is even harder to break the connection at least for me. It is hard because I enjoy him and intimacy with him but I know I need to build the strength and end it completely.

Sorry, but that seems incredibly selfish, weak and immature on his behalf. He has a CHILD to think of for Gods sake! Take a stand, tell him to be a man and make a decision one way or the other and stop f***ing with you! This sounds like torture for both of you and your child will not thank you in the end. If he seriously does not want to committ to you then he has no business being intimate with you and it sounds like you're going to have to be the one to make the rules here. Otherwise your life and your heart is going to hang in limbo until you make the decision to change it, and believe me you can.

Originally Posted by silke

If he seriously does not want to committ to you then he has no business being intimate with you

Um, it takes two to tangle. Maybe she likes being physically intimate with him?

Sorry, I just hate this whole pre-conditioned cultural meme that women only have sex because they are bonded and/or are seeking a commitment bond via sex. Maybe she just likes having sex with the guy? There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm not her so I can't say... just throwing it out there for the mulling. I would never have sex with someone just to get them to commit to me. That is expectation AND manipulation. It seems you are accusing him of doing the manipulation... but what you are suggesting would be, in my humble opinion, manipulation on her part. Sex in exchange for commitment.

Sex isn't "business."

Ugh.

They have a child together, he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

Then again, maybe I missed the memo.

[EricDraven]

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

hahaha, ****! Great line, Love it SQ. And I agree.

Love406, my heart goes out to you. There's alot of great advice in here, and judgements being made, only you can discern what's best and true for you. As I understand it, our intuition flows most easily when we are calm and clear, then you will know what is best for you.

Not that any advice you're being given may not be true, I know from experience that much I've learned from these people have greatly improved my own understandings, and thus reach that state of clarity for finding my truth.

When the time is right for any action on your part, you will know.

Love and Best Wishes to You
Eric

Originally Posted by Mr Interesting

Why is everybody skirting the issue?

Seems like both of you have some pretty big denial issues going on and your excuses for keeping it all alive and well is a shared life...

It's quite simple really. You've got something every so often that exacts a toll... your choice is to either pay the price or decide not to.

Why is it that you both end up together and in bed.... because it's the drug that takes you away from stuff you need to deal with.

You both gotta stop using the child as a pawn in this game of denial your both playing.

What I've said isn't necessarily true but it needs to be in the mix.

You certainly have a point. It is definitely a drug that takes us both away from stuff we should deal with. Just not sure what I need to deal with.

Originally Posted by silke

Sorry, but that seems incredibly selfish, weak and immature on his behalf. He has a CHILD to think of for Gods sake! Take a stand, tell him to be a man and make a decision one way or the other and stop f***ing with you! This sounds like torture for both of you and your child will not thank you in the end. If he seriously does not want to committ to you then he has no business being intimate with you and it sounds like you're going to have to be the one to make the rules here. Otherwise your life and your heart is going to hang in limbo until you make the decision to change it, and believe me you can.

I agree with you silke, but to be fair to him it is not always him doing the initiation. In fact, last week he told me we should stop having sex and I am the one that insisted. And when I am the one that takes a stand he is the one being persistent and initiating intimacy. I need to get serious and have some strength and put my foot down for once and for all. It is just SO hard. The attraction and energy is ridiculous.

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Um, it takes two to tangle. Maybe she likes being physically intimate with him?

Sorry, I just hate this whole pre-conditioned cultural meme that women only have sex because they are bonded and/or are seeking a commitment bond via sex. Maybe she just likes having sex with the guy? There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm not her so I can't say... just throwing it out there for the mulling. I would never have sex with someone just to get them to commit to me. That is expectation AND manipulation. It seems you are accusing him of doing the manipulation... but what you are suggesting would be, in my humble opinion, manipulation on her part. Sex in exchange for commitment.

Sex isn't "business."

Ugh.

They have a child together, he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

Then again, maybe I missed the memo.

SerpentQueen, I do like it more than I should that is the problem. I am in NO way trying to manipulate him. In my mind there is no exchange of I give you sex you give me commitment. Though, I want him to commitment not because he is being coerced. I have sex with him mainly because my attraction for him is out of this world and he has said the same about me. I just lack self-control in his presence. I do want to stop having sex him though because the void and longing when he is not here hurts the most.

Originally Posted by EricDraven

hahaha, ****! Great line, Love it SQ. And I agree.

Love406, my heart goes out to you. There's alot of great advice in here, and judgements being made, only you can discern what's best and true for you. As I understand it, our intuition flows most easily when we are calm and clear, then you will know what is best for you.

Not that any advice you're being given may not be true, I know from experience that much I've learned from these people have greatly improved my own understandings, and thus reach that state of clarity for finding my truth.

When the time is right for any action on your part, you will know.

Love and Best Wishes to You
Eric

Thanks Eric. At the moment I am in conflict. My heart wants to continue to have sex when I see him because the attraction is out of this world, but my mind and everyone else says to leave him alone until he is ready to commit or move on completely.

[Mr Interesting]

What you might have to deal with is why is it so good... the sex.

Why is any drug so good? Because it takes us away from the banality of our existence.

And why is existence banal? Because we live in fear of stuffing it up so badly that even banal was good!!!

The only reason I'm saying this is because afterwards you say you feel so bereft and that's because nothing outside of the sex, or within normal life is able to make you feel fulfilled after giving so much of yourself within that intimacy.

But how can I know... Only you can know because it's your life and you're the one living it. I can only throw my own conjectures at it by seeing a roller coaster effect between giving and receiving and being a part of wildness and possibilities unending... then the return to earth and the subsequent bereftedness. That roller coaster is alike most additive drugs with the High and the coming down.

If the come down wasn't there I'd say go for it but the fact that it is means there is a cost involved and if it ain't paid the debt just keeps getting higher and higher.

With anything powerful one has to be judicious in fitting it into ones life otherwise it can take over. What you might want to think over is that the power and grace and abandonment you are willing to give to the sex you can actually give to rest of your life...

Energy is energy and form is our choice...

Originally Posted by miss_believed

it does make me laugh when i see so many people who are married and meet their twin flame and say oh if only we were single there would be no problems, lol there can ALWAYS be problems when its tf every situation is unique and just as complex, i guess it's about looking within yourselves and healing yourselves and letting it get back together naturally, the child will mean you do have that bond to make reuniting easier when you are both ready x

Its a good thing I was in another relationship when I met my TF and never was single. I can only imagine the crazy stuff I'd end up doing if I wasn't "held back" by the boundaries of my relationship. By being in a relationship I at least have some sort of "understanding" as to why we can't be together. If we were both single and my TF still refused to be with me I think I'd completely lose my mind.