Parenting issues

[ellespirit]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. I feel so ashamed of myself today I'm besides myself.

My 10 and 8 year old boys have extreme sibling rivalry issues and as a result most interactions result in sparks, tempers and tears. It's mainly the 10 year old that resents the 8 year old but the 8 year old is starting to give it back.

This has gotten progressively worse over the last 6 months, although it was better for a little while. I have tried a lot of things and there are programs being put in place eg. withdrawal of privileges; art therapy, uncles and aunties program etc. but some of these are taking time to come into effect...

Today I did something I had always said I would never do as a parent, something my mother raised me on.. after yet another incident... one last night before bed, one first thing again this morning, I screamed and yelled at them and said they made me so miserable I wish I was dead and then I cried.

I felt so much shame, I know it was wrong. I apologised immediately and hugged them both telling them I loved them, and reassured them I didn't mean it and asked forgiveness, but I feel so bad for reacting that way.

I'm afraid i'm a little run down at the moment with the flu, after nursing my eldest son through a two week bout of pneumonia which was misdiagnosed twice and being premenstrual.

I feel like such a bad parent for resorting to the behavior my mother raised me on. I've prayed and prayed and prayed to the Angels, their angels and mine but the tide has not quite turned yet.

I would welcome any constructive feedback from you.