Same old ThatMan

[ThatMan]

So something recurring happened last session of meditation, I experienced a massive flash of sound and blue white light ( like a whoosh sound. like a sudden huge explosion ) and thought I killed myself, it was so intense that it literally overwhelmed me and was about to go unconscious, I really had to struggle to stay conscious except...... And will tell you except what.

So after I was sure I killed myself or at least damaged the brain I opened my eyes and all was just fine, so what did @ThatMan do, let's give it one more try but this time I said to myself, If I die or damage my brain, so be it, risks have to be taken.

Moments later the same powerful flash hit me again and for a moment I thought that this time I did it, I killed myself, except....... nothing happened, it did not shock me, shake me or scare me and then I understood.. it could not touch me, whatever experience, it can not touch me, I make it so that it seemed it was touching me, how can I explain it, the whole fear thing was my own doing, nothing could touch pure awareness for that is what I am, what I was, an ocean of calmness and yet very much alive and really loud. That "whoosh" sound is the "best" word I can use to describe the sea of silence, like being on a sea beach, all alone and hearing the waters.

I literally witnessed the powerful flash but the first time I was in the middle of it as if I was that powerful shock and I had to act accordingly, basically tricking myself, but the second time, I witnessed it.