Meditation - How to stop trying too hard?

[CarolineD]

Originally Posted by jonesboy

I am going to say you are doing perfect.

Don't worry about trying so hard.

Watch your breath and when you notice you are trying or thinking just go back to your breath.

No worries.

Eventually it will become more and more gentle. Just go with what you are doing and don't worry. You are doing great.

That is the secret right there. Just go back to the breath for as long as you can and when you notice you are off of it go back to it. Everything else is just the mind coming up with stuff to stop you. I like to think of it as a game.

Totally agree! No need to try very hard when meditating!

[CarolineD]

Originally Posted by pinkfrost

I have been practicing meditation for over ten years with a lot of problems and, it feels like not a lot of progress has been made.

I feel a lot of my problems stem from the fact that I try too hard when I sit. I cannot help it. The very moment I attempt to meditate some tiny cognitive command seems to subconsciously kick in and I tense up.

Instead of observing my breath or the object in question I put a whole lot of energy into the observation process itself - in my efforts to try and get as much out of it as I can. Sometimes its so bad I come away feeling really unstable, but I can't seem to stop it.

I've tried various forms of meditation with the same outcome.

If I try and relax it just gets worse...because my brain seizes on another opportunity to 'try' and the opposite ends up happening.

A lot of really bad stuff has happened to me over the years and I just can't let go in any circumstance. I'm constantly on guard, and constantly trying / struggling to improve my life.

The sad irony is, when I found out the peace of mind that could be attained with meditation, because being human I naturally desired this a lot, my mind could not seem to help but go into overtime and ever since has tried way too hard every time I sit.

Please, what can I do?

Hi! I guess many people have the same problems as you. But don't worry. What you need to do is just don't try so hard, I'd say don't try at all. I check this out on my own experience. And it does work! Don't try but stay intended for the results.
Good lucK!

[Serenity69]

Try To Let Go

Effortless Being
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7Ye72I0H5o

[Elina]

Hello Pinkfrost

Some good advice here. I would add a gentle smile whilst you are meditating; it will improve the quality of your meditation and hopefully take you away from the rigidity and trying too hard. It's meant to be enjoyable, so enjoy and appreciate each breath.

If it's still too hard , have you tried to do a mantra each day - can be done whilst going about your daily activities, and is just as effective tool as meditation. When you are ready you can always go back to the meditation too. PM if you would like more information

Light and Peace,
Elina.

[Serrao]

Meditation is an aid which can help develop many aspects of one's life.
Developing one's life should not be a burden.
It should be pleasant to do; something to be happy about.

There are many techniques out there.
With the access to the internet nowadays it shouldn't be difficult to find the meditation that fits you best.

[JoeVallee]

Maybe you should try some energy work let the practitioner help your energy to start flowing again and could start your day with affirmations like I can Love and be Loved. Or ask your guides to give you a sign that they are with you and give your worries to them before the meditation. Use a mantra like I am one with all that I am, and keep repeating this during the meditation. Mantra’s are great to stop the mind from out thinking it self.
Joe

[FallingLeaves]

contrary to popular belief, sometimes the path is to make it worse rather than better.

[mulyo13]

agreed with others, you are doing good.

Originally Posted by pinkfrost

If I try and relax it just gets worse...because my brain seizes on another opportunity to 'try' and the opposite ends up happening.

A lot of really bad stuff has happened to me over the years and I just can't let go in any circumstance. I'm constantly on guard, and constantly trying / struggling to improve my life.

The sad irony is, when I found out the peace of mind that could be attained with meditation, because being human I naturally desired this a lot, my mind could not seem to help but go into overtime and ever since has tried way too hard every time I sit.

It means, you've already realized/aware of something. This is a progress. Keep going. You will realize/aware something new and you will know what makes you keep trying hard.

Have you thought of doing some yoga first, just the more gentle asanas with a small amount of tension. Don't try the lotus, that isn't the point - it's the gentle tension and relaxation postures to go for - at first under supervision if you can. Then grow used to the corpse posture at the end of your session. You should be able to relax utterly and get the feel of that. And in that state you should be able to concentrate on your breathing. That would help still your mind.

Yoga is never bad for the health and in the corpse posture you may even be able to meditate...or even drop off to sleep. But then you can simulate that same relaxation in a chair or wherever you like to meditate...and the breathing to calm your mind. It'll still ramble but don't fight it. Let it ramble for a few moments before you return to breathing.

[Ilovecats]

What helped me was really very simple advice but totally effective. I think that focus really changes a lot. At first I was very focused on what is happening in my body. I mostly paid attention to the tinglings and other sensations. At the beginning a lot was happening in my body but over a certain period of time I felt like the energy in my body is stuck and that I don't progress. I also stopped with meditation for some time. Then I accidentally bumped into a simple meditation on-line and actually it's the most simple technique there is - focusing on breathing. There was also stated that it's best if you don't pay attention to what you feel in your body, that you don't mind what is going on but just leave the energy do it's work. And I thought about it and remembered that this is something I always did. I always put a lot of emphasis on what was happening in my body and I decided that I will try this meditation. I was really surprised that such a little change made such a big difference. It happened over a period of time but I was persistent and it didn't take that long that I started to notice progress. The energy started to flow and move through my body, the sensations totally changed and I got new and new ones day after day. I felt that it wasn't stuck any more. Of course I noticed new sensations but I didn't give them much attention. I was just constantly coming back to my breathing and that is my main focus. Since then I never felt stuck. I hope this helps and wish you all the best on this wonderful journey