is there any point to crying?

In Progress.... I understand the point of what you are saying, that I have willingly stepped into a victim/aggressor situation, and yes you are right.

However, what I don't see in that blog is how to step out of it. Maybe I misunderstood but it showed how to act when you see it in others, but not what to do if you are in it.

I think I am a little odd in that I don't find I am able to just switch off feelings and feel something different. I am a water sign, my emotions are a powerful thing and although I am learning to be aware of their effects I am far from not being affected by they. I tend to coin the phrase (like your name) that am "work in progress". That is not a cop-out, just an awareness that I am not there yet.

So, what thought patterns help one step out of the victim/aggressor mindset? Yes, I am guessing there are lessons to be learned by this situation, but at the moment I am not aware of them. I am sure they will become apparent, but not so yet.

I am also aware that my SAD is affecting my thinking... this is a chemical thing in my head (I've thrown a fair amount of complimentary therapies at it with no effect, so it's more 3d than that) and I refuse to take prescribed meds....

So, more info on this would be very useful.. thanks

I want to touch down on your point that crying doesn't solve your problems. You're right, it isn't going to solve your problems, that's something you've got to do youself, but crying allows your body to release those emotions so you can be more clear minded and emotionally stronger to handle your problems.

My mother was very against crying in public and in front of people. Well, I don't find that to be easy, but because of her I do not like crying in front of people. I hate it. But I do find time to cry, we NEED that release. Get those emotions out, clear your body of the toxic thoughts that stress, anger, and depression brings, and move forward to resolving your problems.

Here in the US we have the Better Business Bureau that one can file a complaint with about bad experiences with companies. Unfortunately, the BB has no regulating authority so it cannot "go after" bad companies to help you recover money. Its up to the individual to file a complaint in civil court.

However, you can still post a bad review on the 'net where ever that company advertises. Can you contact the other participants to see if anyone else had problems?

The positive testimonies on the company's website might be a sham...fake review. However, google the company and the course with complaints in the search field and see what comes up. You may be surprised. If there are any complaints (and I suspect that there are... you can take the info, print it out and write the company a letter demanding a refund and copy your local prosecutor. That might get results.

Crying is such a complex emotional thing, that sometimes it's hard to know if it's making you feel better or worse!
I do cry when I feel the need to (and sometimes it just creeps up on me, lol!) Depending on the reason WHY I'm crying, I'll allow it or not. If I'm crying for myself, out of self-pity or feeling sorry for myself, then I try to not give in to it too much or for too long, because then I DO feel worse...If I'm crying because I'm sad or missing someone, or something has happened, then I'll cry until I feel that the emotion has been released.
Then there's crying for others! I almost cried yesterday when my boyfriend was telling me about his childhood, things that have happened to him, etc....it made me want to cry because I felt bad for him. And sometimes I want to cry when I see or hear things about cruelty to animals - being an animal lover, that pains me greatly.
So it's all about WHY I'm crying that decides whether I'll allow it or not, or for how long.

Crying is what we humans do. It does not makes us weak, it makes us stronger. I also believe it is an excellent stress reliever, and problem solver...Good Luck to you!
Peace

In your case, if you feel like you need to cry then let it be, do whatever is natural for you. Of course it won't fix any problem, you have to be honest with yourself, throw it all out in the open and deal with the problem. Use your heart and be understanding and patient.

[Sarian]

There are healing properties in tears.I've read about it, but I haven't found it to be true for me. Growing up, I'd not let anyone see me cry. I was the stoic little solder, but then sometimes I would go bawl my head off under my pillow. As I grew up ,people would say oh you need to cry...release that pain...so little by little I would let myself cry, well, damn, these last 10 years I feel like a crying fool and I hate it. Sometimes it's worse than others. 2009, I cried every day and that's no exaggeration. Every blasted day and most of those days more than once. Perpectual state of mourning. I hated it. Never once did it make me feel better.

[psychoslice]

Yea I cried my way to Enlightenment, if you try and stop crying, it will build up inside and one day it will explode. You have to try and work out what it is that is making you cry, and where this originated from, did it start from your childhood, just keep feeling the pain that you feel, and try to connect that to whatever you feel. Was it rejection, was it a parent that never showed you love....just keep digging, when you connect to that event in your past, just stay with it, let yourself feel everything that is connected with that event, cry, scream, whatever, just let what needs to be felt.

[Sarian]

I know what it was, but once I started crying, I looked like I went 10 rounds with mike tyson. /the other day I caught sight of me blubbering and it scared the bejesus out of me. Then I got to laughing at how ridiculous I looked. I went to a therapist once and she handed me a bat and I got to laughing so hard. She was getting annoyed with me because she wanted me to start beating on the mattress or a teddy bear and I said I can't hit the poor bear and then I got laughing more. So there we were, my therapist and I laying on a mattress laughing holding teddy bears and baseball bats.

OP, just cry. It doesn't require logic or theory to do. Do it when you feel the urge. Bare your soul and see what happens. It might not seem to solve anything, you might still feel like you have problems to solve after, but at least you let the salt water come down your eyes for no other reason than you felt like it. No harm done.


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