The wounds of the feminine
Our relationships to both men and woman and ultimately ourselves, already holds within itself, a foundation , formed from all mothers, all fathers, sisters and brothers that connect to this present moment of you.
So your wounds, the dynamics of connection you’ve directly witnessed through those closest to you, will play out as your own, until you see and feel differently.
The good, the bad the ugly in others, that has impacted us throughout our childhood and life, has formed this creation in us. As a child, you are the witness, waking up to life, as life is. The external responses you receive as a child form the picture so deeply inside you, that even as you might tell yourself as the adult, “I’m never going to behave like my father” “I’m never going to respond like my mother”. The inner child knows, feels and sees things very differently to what your adult self believes he is or isn’t. Until you look and take notice of how you truly feel deeper beyond your ‘ideal’ the real you remains stuck in its own ideal version.
Our parents are our strongest influences in our foundational years. Those first five years are where we have gathered and built deeply embedded impressions through their reflections and view of themselves and formed our own. How we saw them, felt in their presence, how they engaged and related to each other, how they lived and behaved through the totality of their lives towards each other and towards others. These relationships, becomes our own initially.
Your siblings represent this inner circle of healing as one. Their interactions and their behaviours, also influence you. If you were born as one of the youngest, with older siblings, those impressions will form as part of you too.
Until you look closely at things as they are inside yourself, look as deeply as the inception of all these impressions run inside you, you’ll trap yourself and your relationships, through this ideal version, you seek and want to be. There is nothing wrong in wanting more in your relationships, but ultimately the one you hold towards yourself sets the scene in every way you connect to yourself.
Relationships can and will strip you back to the barest you, but only if you allow and open yourself up to look at yourself honestly.
When people hurt us, we take cover, we blame and give up on them, but who are you really giving up on? If you don’t let the walls of your heart feel the pain and hurt, let all those walls fall away, you’ll never truly know how it feels to love truthfully. Love honestly, love without conditions. Love in such a way you realize you are the love your seeking.
I titled this the wounds of the feminine, because the mother is primarily our greatest giver and receiver of life. Her connection flows through all of us long before we enter this world. Her life force is our own life force. Her life as her life is becomes our life too.
Whatever life she represents in you, only you as the one carrying her and all mothers/woman before her in her/in you, can bridge the change you seek and want, by letting her go in peace in you. By loving all those parts she couldn’t love, by making choices differently where she didn’t have the courage to do so.
By embracing her as she was, as you became through her, you can let her be as you feel in you for you. You then begin to become the best version of you through her and all woman connected to her, to you, to all life.
Recently I took myself through a body scan process to check on the feminine attached in me. I used my awareness to cut those chords. They were difficult and finally as I managed to free them, my body jolted and crashed like an energetic burden had been lifted. I was still holding old energy. I entered the emotional body during this process and was able to witness very little attachment.
As a healer I seek to free myself on all levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
This morning I woke up, feeling like I was nothing, a nobody. I felt content in this feeling. I turned to my partner and shared this feeling.
He said. “ Thats a good place to be”
I said. “Exactly” 😉
Buddhism, the religion that promises nothing and delivers…(see author in avatar)