How do I stop thinking too much of him, his perspective?

God, this is the third time I've edited this text. I'm sorry about that. I tend to be feeling more sorry for my luv and his situation than I do my own when it comes down to a family-issue with his first family. Do anyone know how to ground oneself from doing that? I was too sacrificing in the past, and I know this, yet I see myself falling into the same old steps of yesterday. I tend to in the past be overly emphatic and then go along and do something that my luv wants.