Healing deeply embedded wounds

I realise the conversation has gone off topic a bit and I've been thinking about what has helped me in self-healing.

I feel the term deeply embedded wounds describes a phenomena in healing, where you heal one aspect of life and as you do so, the next step of healing is revealed. But I feel that it creates a really unique journey that doesn't just pull out the root and kill that experience off...as if it never happened. Instead, the journey teaches you how to get through adversities...and it gives you life-skills as well as an in depth understanding of how experience effects us on a physical, mental and spiritual level. So it is a journey worth taking.

If I were to make a list of things that have helped me (and ofcourse it may be different for everyone)...but at the top of that list I would put...

1) Hope = life changes and in the most hopeless of times I believe more than anything, that there is something new to experience and something worth living on for.

2) Faith from experience = I've believed and have found time and again that something always comes along...some opporunity that will assist me in turning the corner. Whether it's god, amgels, spirits, fate, intuition or blind optimism...whatever IT is, it works. And I feel that the faith that IT works makes me aware and open to the opportunities for change that present themselves.

3) Ok, I'm going to get more practical here and say that number 3 useful healing tool is to gain an understanding into how the mind works...and how your own mind responds to your experiences.

There are two steps to this: Firstly it helps to have a basic understanding of learned behaviour and how thought/emotion/reaction interact in the mind. It forms the basis of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) if you want to research it.

Secondly, is self-analysis. This takes a good dose of self honesty without beating yourself up. It is about noticing your failings and achievements and looking at what deeper feelings created/caused them. Another aspect to this is reflection...so that you use how you see the outside world to help you to see your own fears, jealosies and desires. Another aspect of this is to ask yourself what your expectations of a situation are (often expectations being broken are what hurts) and in the same vain..what you feel needy for or fearful of - because these aspects are what lies behind many of our perceptions and actions.

4) Be allowed/allow yourself - whatever you feel you need to do to positively heal...DO It...cry. meditate, go for a jog/a long walk, find a new job, find new friends etc.

5) If ever you feel that getting revenge or damaging anothers prospects for self satisfaction will cure you - resist it because it pays off in the long run.

6) Ask for help - but with the understanding that you can take what is helpful and leave what is not. In the end, it must absolutely be you and you alone that heals you. You are responsible for that, and it's everything that enables you to take responsibility for your own healing that ultimately gives you what you need to go on and face the rest of your life (and lives to come)

I hope for this reason, that you will manage to avoid those promising quick fixes, because they take away your ability to learnm that you can do it for yourself.