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04-08-2023, 09:24 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Kraków, Poland
Posts: 234
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It was beautiful unreal but I couldnt believe that I can be loved the way I am
So I started using drugs to avoid being so close and so vulnerable - he was screaming to not do it, but I get addicted and everything fell apart.
We still have contact and longing for each other and extra pain because what happened between us (how they call it: third party, on both sides, or some weird hard to understand situations).
Now I feel empty a bit afraid and dumb, like everything is without any meaning.
Do you have any insights on such situation? I myself feel ashamed in front of you of the fact of using this drugs but I am open to any insight and opinion as I kind of lost myself in all that. Maybe this thread will help someone in the future, I dont want to keep all this that is too hard for me in myself and hide all the time, because this attitude led me to using this drugs and running away from, I really suppose, pure Love. This was really Divine and I dont know where it is now.
Have a good day.
__________________
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Rumi 
Forgive me mistakes! Still learning English
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