Quote:
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Originally Posted by iamthat
Being aware of ...
... to understand.
Peace
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If I let go of trying to become aware of the absolute then I am aware of all the changes in the ever change of all changing inconsistent meaningless and confusing and chaotic things. Such as awareness of the heart or emotions, it is connected to all other hearts in this field of ever change. And it just leaves me confused and at the whim of ever change.
I am looking for a way to become stable and consistent in my identity. Not even my identity, because I have no identity. I am looking for A consistent identity. ANY consistent identity at all will do!
The center of my heart or chest or emotion, all these are ever changing and chaotic and dynamic and unidentifiable. Like everything else. I want a way out of this chaos. And into something that is unchanging. I say "I want it" as if I even know who I am! I just know that I don't like whoever or wherever I am, and it is constantly changing, but not to good things. I feel completely powerless to do anything about anything like this. I cannot even find a true real consistent center or identity.
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