The Eye and matter

[ThatMan]

Had the chance to see the line between what we think we are and what we are, I've seen it many times but not like this.

Many NDEs who had an NDE from an accident talk about how while the body was badly wounded and in pain they were feeling no pain and no connection with the body when outside the body, as if the body was just a thing they used for a while and now move on.

I was feel really sad, so sad the the sadness could be described as tangible pain, a sudden deep sadness that hit me. I remember taking a bath and I suddenly felt like a really really powerful need to sleep. That was good news for me, knowing that this would put an end to the sadness.

The only problem is that this did not felt like falling asleep, my body became really sluggish, the tiredness was I would say "extreme", could not keep my eyes open but surprisingly I was very much aware.

Aware and seeing things like I've never seen them before, here I was inside the body but not connected at all with the body, looking at the body both from within the body and from without the body, in all this time being in this blackness that was radiating golden light.

I was totally at peace, like not a care in the world, what sadness, what tiredness? Nothing like this, all this human thing to me in that moment felt like, and the best I can describe this is through this expression, "THIS IS A LIE", not the real thing, a very confined, limited, false, pale, with no substance, like having a blanket over one's eyes and seeing the world through that blanket thinking that what you see is the only reality but when you take it off for a moment you realize that you've been living a deception. And worse, it is not you who put that blanket over your eyes, for in that moment I knew that I've been put in this confined body but not by me.

Boom, I was back in the body and the tiredness and the sadness were still there, and boom again I was back in that golden light blackness. Once again having the same knowing, but now thinking, I have access to this level of consciousness and yet in the body I live imprisoned by the body. And once again in the body and once again in that space, this kept going for a while enforcing what I was experiencing.

When I finally woke up I kept having that knowing and I wondered why do I accept to confine myself to this limited vehicle with all its limitations. I felt that I was accepting the sadness, I was letting it happen, I could at any time make it go away, and this goes for all the things we experience in this world, including the "good" things, good, bad, it does not matter, all part of the drama of this human experience, the blanket that we have over our "eyes" and when I say "eyes" I mean awareness, consciousness itself, for once again the best I can describe my own sense of self there was that of pure awareness, no body, nothing, just spontaneous beingness.

What is the blanket? Matter itself, it felt heavy, dark bluish in color, ever contracting, seeing only through matter itself and seeing only matter itself for matter is all that appears to be.

What was I? That golden blackness, endless, absolutely and totally light, lighter than a feather, no mass, no matter, ever expanding, 360 degrees vision, I was "vision" itself this is why the "eye" is consciousness, awareness is seeing, it is the "Eye" ( few days before while meditating I heard a female voice say to me "Open the Eye..." )

Why do we accept the drama of life? The answer is this, we do not know who we are, we know nothing else, matter is all we know, one has to see what lies beyond matter for one to know one's self as not being matter.

And I am pretty sure the whole thing with that extreme sadness and extreme need to sleep came to be to teach me a lesson for I was totally back to normal consciousness even thinking why in the world I needed so "desperately" to sleep, did not make sense at all.