It's all starting to make sense and I don't know how to feel

[eyesopen2020]

*Editing because I tend to get carried away and my original post was mumbled (I really am trying to get better). I also want to state that my "spiritual journey" all started only about two and a half months ago when I casually went to a psychic and was blown away by the insight I was given. After that it seemed like things started falling into place.

To sum up: I think my Grandmother who passed on years ago is my guardian angel and I see her signs everywhere. I have had a very difficult life and honestly thought I was being punished by God. For the last several years I have gone through quite an awakening to my reality and a lot of it has to do with a person I have become very close and recently discovered that he is possibly my twin flame. Both of our lives have been upended, mine for the better and his for the worse. There are really specific signs pointing directly to him from what I consider my angel number and other readings (details below) and I feel like I unknowingly manifested him into my life.

On one hand, I feel really honored that my grandmother is there as my angel along with others to protect me and that I am in this great space (most of the time) but on the other hand, feel really guilty that I may have meddled in someone else's life and hurt them just because my life was messed up. I am really upset about this because I have genuine love and care deeply for the well-being of this person and know he is in a great deal of pain. Even though he originally approached me, I can't help but blame myself for this and am trying to figure out why this situation would present itself the way it has.

Just looking for any insight from anyone =).

Further details below about my angel number 23 and crazy specific Twin Flame coincidences:

I see the number 23 EVERYWHERE and the frequency has increased. I looked it up and the angel number is to follow your heart and do something you love:

- The day my friend messaged me his profile pic was of a basketball player wearing a jersey with the number 23.

- I was watching a general pick a card reading on YouTube and the energy they were describing was definitely of my soon to be ex. He is a narcissitic, emotionally abusive, cheating liar that bankrupted us. The card she picked up was one of a person getting attacked by bees. She goes on to say that she sees the bees as the Egyptian Sun God Ra and my ancestors sent him specifically to attack this person for depleting my abundance and to protect me. That is literally who my friend is named after - Ra. In fact when we started talking, I remembered thinking how perfect I thought he was and that he was my husband's worst nightmare.

- Most importantly, with or without anything that I have learned from a spiritual sense: I have been with my h for 16 years and although I saw the red flags, I ignored them. I would have never actually caught what he was doing had it not been for my friend and I certainly would have never had the strength and courage (at least at the time) to do something about it if it weren't for him. I literally owe it to him for saving me from my awful marriage.

Other interesting and important number 23s for me:

- My youngest son is a double rainbow baby and was born on his due date, 1/23/13, none of my other three were even close to their due date (I prayed to my Gram about him too)

- I found my Grandmother when I went to pick her up on Christmas day but I know she died on 12/23 and that was the last day I saw her (It had snowed that night and there weren't any footprints, she would have gone out). My Gram was very special to me and I asked her to be my guardian angel before she died. She used to have religious dreams and was such a wonderfully genuine person with the kindest eyes. Her life was very tough too and people used to make fun of her and think she was crazy. I would pray to her and ask her to help me with this situation and that it would end the way it was supposed to. When I recently went to that psychic reading, he told me that my Grandmother was reminding me that I was just like her and to have faith. I am trying but feel like all of this is too crazy and I have only told one person because I feel like I am making this up.

Sorry this is so long and I have so many questions...