Open Minded but Staying Grounded

[eyesopen2020]

So my story is super long and I really try to keep it short. I don't know if I actually have a twin flame or if it really is the power of suggestion BUT I know it's "something".

I've been chit-chatting with this guy since 6/2017. I've actually known him for like 12 years but on a strictly work level as employee/employer relationship up until that point. I left the company, he reached out after that. (both of us were married, I'm currently separated) I'm 5 years older, now in my early-40s. He is still married. We can't seem to end it and have tried but we always seem to go back to chatting, although we have only met once and that was a few weeks ago (I'll get to that in a sec). The attraction is crazy (like achy in a pulling way) and has pretty much been that way since we started talking on that personal level - we are complete opposites, different ethnicities, backgrounds, education, interests, you name it. I am and have been completely intrigued by everything about him though and for some reason, he is the same with me and I'm a giant dork, lol. Problem is, he keeps ghosting and it has gotten even worse since I've been actually willing to meet him. It has been really bothering me especially since we've been doing this for like 3 1/2 years and it's all we've talked about. I don't know why it hasn't bothered me about the whole married thing - I would have never crossed that line but here I am, I can't explain it even though logically I know it really should.

Well about two months ago, I went to a psychic for completely unrelated reasons and really just for fun. After the guy completely blew my mind on other topics, I happen to mention my friend. As soon as he writes down his name, he excitedly tells me how much energy we have as we are entangled souls and he is not rejecting me, he's scared. We have a tunnel of energy, will always be connected and he needs it, always will. He needs me and my energy and he won't let it go. He will also be a threat to any of my future relationships. He described how we were at work (I didn't mention that at all), he knew this had been going on for years (I didn't say that either) and on and on. I was amazed. Hell - he even used the term "entangled souls" (which I know is what it's called) and we joked around about calling this getting entangled. I kind of took that for what it was and started reading a bit and that was it.

Well, I kinda kept this stuff under wraps and met my friend once a few weeks ago. When we hugged - that was all, just hugged, it was like I melted. This was the first time we saw each other in like 4 years. And when we kissed it was like our bodies were molded for each other - everything fit. It was perfect. It was really cold outside but I couldn't even tell. We were standing in the street and it was almost like I had to shake myself out of it to get us to stop before we got inappropriate or something. It was an experience I had never had before.

So now I've noticed the coincidences - my name means star, his means sun. His name is literally embedded in mine. I see it everywhere. Our bdays are 11 days apart and add up to 11. I see 11:11 all the time and on and on. I dream about him too....Even something as stupid as my favorite thing ever are stormtroopers - love them (told you, dork). I was going to trade my Jeep in for a white one with black trim and tinted windows just so I can look like one. Well I didn't even realize it but although he doesn't drive a Jeep, he drives a white car with black trim, and dark tinted windows. I know a lot of people do but still, just little coincidences like that.

So here is my dilemma. I ended up telling him a little bit about this and he didn't seem bothered by it all. He actually thought it was cool and didn't deny any of it either, not even the needing me part. I can tell something is bothering him though. Unfortunately he was a big "playa" before me. Now with me it's changed and I know he feels guilty. I want to respect this and leave him alone but we have private ig account just for us. Only he and I are on it. He checks it every day. There is only one reason why he would check it and that's to see if I messaged him. I have not up until today. Last night I had another dream about him and I was woken up by a voice in my ear saying "he needs you to reach out to him." I actually woke up to write it down as I've been trying to do that but what the heck? Am I making this stuff up??? What do I do? I did message him but in a stupid silly way and even ended it with "whatever you do, DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS" just to make it light hearted. I don't know...I told him last week I assumed since he was checking he still wanted communication but I want to respect him and make it his decision. And I can't help but think that maybe this really is my TF and maybe I really am feeling what he is. There have been other really strange feelings coming out of nowhere, even sexually (I know, tmi) but it's there. I am not imagining these things.

What are your thoughts? Anyone experience this? Have I fabricated these "coincidences" just to add logic to my insanity?