My Father, the Elderst, Ancestors
My father died a few weeks ago-alone in an ICU on a ventilator about 20 minutes away. No one was allowed in. I called and tried to say goodbye but he was not receptive. I did manage to tell him that I loved him in our 30 second conversation. I had not seen him in a decade. He left me to die alone.
He is haunting me now. I believe he thinks that my forgiveness for the things he did during his life will free him from the earthbound state, but he is wrong.
I harbor no resentment-though I have no sympathy and do not wish to entertain him. He tried to prevent me from projecting last night. He chased me, in a dream, clinging to me and following me everywhere I went in my apartment building and the surrounding neighborhood. I said to him, “How sad is it that I dislike you enough that I have to move from my apartment just to get away from you?”
I tried to levitate (as I often do in the dream state) to get away from him but he held me by one ankle. I will have to dislodge him.
He was sitting in my armchair, plain as day, two nights ago.
Upon gaining some advice from a Lakota Elder, I have the option of performing a series of rituals in which he can be released from the earthbound state. It is more effective if I do these rituals but I am not the only one capable. He would then be energetically capable of crossing over into the lands in which our ancestors reside in the hereafter.
At this point I feel unwilling to do so. He’s still using me for personal gain as he did not seek honor in his lifetime. I sit capable of gifting him with an unearned shortcut that others spend many years preparing for, with great and careful attention during perhaps many lifetimes.
__________________
❤️
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
~Maya Angelou
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