Very hurt over breakup

I posted a similiar thread but I never realized how poorly he made me feel. Told me my family didn't care about me, controlling, manipulated me into thinking I was stupid, begged me for money so he could buy drugs, got mad at me if I wanted to visit friends, called me names, insulted me, judged me, be littled me, made me cry, refused to satisfy me, got mad I joined forums, I can go on and on. Wow... than we made love a few days before we broke up and he was truley happy. And things were getting better. Than he avoided my phone calls so I went to see if he was okay and he said he needed to be alone. Just like that...

He was very bitter and cold towards me. He even looked at me and said you can't conprehend what I see with my third eye. The look in his eyes looked mad and he didn't seem like himself. He was pretty heavy with drugs and he told me sad things about his life. I truley loved him and wanted to help him but in the end it drained me and I lost myself. Please go easy on me cause I'm trying to work past this... just need support right now.

AWWWWWW Dancing Butterflies (Big HUg xxx) a break up is never easy. and it really sounds like you are going through a tough time, but it is good that you are reflecting on how he treated you, it will help you learn from it and heal.

I am going to tell you, what you know already and what most people are going to say, You derserve a person who loves and respects you and makes you feel special. I know you love him, but you need to move on, get away from him, you dont need people in your life that take you for granted.

Very sorry you're in pain, but from where I'm sitting, you are SOOO better off without him. Ten years ago I was naive enough to think I could 'help' an alcoholic, that all he truly needed was to be loved unselfishly by moi ... DISASTER. He hit me one night during an alcoholic blackout and I left & never looked back. . (There's self-sabotage, which I've been known to dabble in from time to time, and then there's STOOPID. I don't do stoopid.)

Grown-ups can't fix other grown-ups, we can only fix ourselves. & God only knows what you've been spared as it sounds like he hasnt begun to hit rock bottom yet w the drug use...

Everyday gets better with more strength to get you through to the next day. Hold your own heart in firmness knowing it is not given to those that do not know how to hold a heart.

Love to you.

Thank you for all your replies, ever since I joined here I met a lot of amazing people. Your words from all of you touched my heart and made me realize that I'm not alone any longer. Since I've been single I'm starting to gain confidence in myself a little more. Know my pain won't go away over night but I know in time I'll be a better person after I'm done healing.

Change is always disorientating- even good changes.

Now you are single and the relationship didn't go the way you had hoped. I'm proud of you for trying hard to move past your disappointment. As others have said, you're Much better off without him. I know what being in a relationship with a drug addict is like and can identify with everything you shared in your OP. Always remember that Nothing he said is really about You. He's just deflecting his own issues on and making excuses for everything. One very important thing I want to tell you: Do NOT go back even if he changes into the sweetest puppy out there. It never lasts. Let him play his selfish games and keep on walking away. Look after You from here on. Reaching out in this thread is a great place to start on your new path.

[Dragonfly1]

Awww, (((((((Huge HUGS)))))))....Dancing Butterflies......be kind to yourself, and know that you will come through this...stay in the light sweetness....xxx many many blessing to you.......

Thank you for you're kind words. Still recovering from it all but I also noticed he was emotional abusive towards me and was blinded by it. Hopefully over time things will get better for me and I'll be more aware of the red flags to look out for of controlling and emotional abusive men. My ex knew of the abuse I went through when I was younger and believe he attacked me at my weakest points since I had low self esteem. If I'm repeating myself I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep and needed to post about it.

[A peaceful mind.]

I get tears in my eyes while reading your post and feat like praying immediately.. Before I do I want to tell you that you are a special beautiful girl that deserves better and by believing that you will get something better.

Lear from your experiences and continue living with a smile and yes I know that it is hard at this point but things will get better. You will one day look back and smile over what you have learned in the past.

I will prayfor you..

With peace and love

Yours

A PeacefulMind

Definetly not a deeper then. Move on, i\ve had my fill of weirdo men like that, You know there are decent men out there that appreciate you and respect you. Took me a while to let go of the destructive man i loved but so glad i did. Do the same.