How do you know when a man is more than a friend?

[Crwydryn]

I just can't trust in my intuition as I trusted once and turned out I was wrong he thought about me as friend only.
Now I'm scared to make the same mistake again.

[Somnia]

It can hard to deal with rejection...I understand completely from personal experience, but what's helped me rise above it is knowing there a lot of people out there in the world whom you can have romantic relationships with if this is what you are wanting...

So perhaps this person is not meant for you right now for some reason, one door shuts and another will open and you will find another who will play the role for you as romantic partner...Try not to focus on finding "The One" as I believe there are many many "ones" to go after,

[7luminaries]

First...don't beat yourself up. For a lot of gents, they find a good chunk of women in a fairly wide age/size/etc range attractive enough to have sex with. Some more than others but generally speaking, this is so.

But as far as engaging at a deeper level, a LOT of this has only partially to do with the woman being compatible and emotionally available.

Frankly, a large part simply has to do with whether that particular gent is himself mature enough and emotionally available enough to give as well as receive...and not just either forcibly take or passively receive.

You could be (and I quote a very dear friend) "the virgin Mary herself" or perhaps it was "the queen of Sheba herself"...and be attractive, available, mature, and quite compatible. And NONE of that would make a bit of diff if he's not willing to rise to authentic love and committed partnership with anyone at this time.

Perhaps that gent was doing you a real favour by not having sex with you. There are gents who avoid having sex with women who seek a serious relationship (not just sex)...also, many avoid you like the plague if they know you care or might care more deeply, for the same reason. They aren't ready to head for deeper waters yet.

Generally, it shows a smidge of conscience on his part that he didn't want to use you for sex, even if he is still living la vida loca. So thank the stars he took a bye, LOL. And it's typically also a credit to your own character...so give yourself some credit too

Peace & blessings,
7L

[Crwydryn]

Thanks for the replies, probably my opening was not clear, pardon me, I'm not native English.
I meant that once with one man I thought, I felt we had a connection and he said he saw me as a friend only.
I started this thread now as I am in a similar situation now with a different man, although to be fair this man puts way more effort into our relating and it confuses me to great deal as I don't know if he is being shy, or he just wants to be close to a female or is this the way he builds friendships.

About two months ago I made a mistake trying to talk about this but I was asking in a way that it could have been interpreted as I am the one who wants to be friends only.

[7luminaries]

Crwydryn, I think it's best to ask him where he's at and what he's looking for in his life at this time...and then afterward also you can also ask him what he thinks of you and your relationship or friendship. You can also share where you are and what you're looking for...and what you think of him.

If you admire him and think well of him...if you find him attractive as a person and as a friend, and perhaps also as a man if you get to know him better...then you can let him know that too.

All the best
Peace & blessings,
7L

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by Crwydryn

I just can't trust in my intuition as I trusted once and turned out I was wrong he thought about me as friend only.
Now I'm scared to make the same mistake again.

I'd get some relationship books or google: relationship tips to see how a relationship is supposed to work which will show you the difference between just a friendship and a deep, committed romance.
good luck

Expect nothing, just let it flow. Let him be at the outset and gradually converge, as will happen if there's something there. Besides there's nothing wrong with a man being "just" a friend. A good friend of the opposite sex is an asset.

[Lucyan28]

Use a provocative neckline and you'll know =) if he looks constantly to your breast he is definitely attracted to you. You see, it's really easy to know

[Nature Grows]

If you don't want to ask him yourself directly you could try asking someone else to ask for you, like if you have a friend that is friends with you both maybe or something like that?

I think body langue is a good way to find out if someone likes you aswell, pay attention to that.

funny comment above this one.

[Crwydryn]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

Use a provocative neckline and you'll know =) if he looks constantly to your breast he is definitely attracted to you. You see, it's really easy to know

Well, he looks at them :) even touched them "accidentally"