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29-12-2021, 06:39 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: India
Posts: 984
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Loneliness hindering my work. What should i do?
For some weeks i've been feeling lonely. This has never happened before. I'm not sure why suddenly i've been feeling this but it's affecting my work, by slowing me down and making me get frequently distracted.
I've tried finding someone like-minded to be friends with, but i couldn't find anyone. I made an imaginary friend, they made me happy but it lasted only for a short while. I made written list of goals to achieve in a day, but the motivation lasted only for like 2 days.
What should i do?
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29-12-2021, 10:35 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: U.K
Posts: 720
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kralaro
For some weeks i've been feeling lonely. This has never happened before. I'm not sure why suddenly i've been feeling this but it's affecting my work, by slowing me down and making me get frequently distracted.
I've tried finding someone like-minded to be friends with, but i couldn't find anyone. I made an imaginary friend, they made me happy but it lasted only for a short while. I made written list of goals to achieve in a day, but the motivation lasted only for like 2 days.
What should i do?
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Could this lonely feeling be due to Christmas i.e. everyone socialising more, families getting together? If so, that's quite normal and understandable. See if the feeling dissipates with the New Year - wishing you a good one!
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It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
(Henry David Thoreau)
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29-12-2021, 06:04 PM
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Ascender
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: India
Posts: 984
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Hey ameliorate, thanks for replying. It's Not due to Christmas, as i don't compare myself with others and also i feel happy when i see others loving each other. But after my post, i found a solution. That solution is to make my life harder. After making the post, someone shouted at me, i noticed that at that moment i didn't feel lonely. This gave me an epiphany that when my life was hard then i didn't used to feel lonely and now when my life has gotten easier then my brain is taking leisure of feeling lonely. After the realization, i made my life harder by working harder and stretching my limits. So now i'm not feeling lonely :) I hope this lasts at least for a while. Thanks for your blessing; I wish you a good new year too!
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31-12-2021, 09:41 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,515
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Hi Kralaro.
Lonliness is simply asking us to reach out and connect to others. So I came here to say hello and respond.
My suggestion would he to just keep reaching out just like you did here. I find friends in unexpected places. I often find that my intuition is better at finding me friends then my logical reasoning mind is because my mind makes up stories where as my intuition cuts through the stories and hesitations.
I often post in the lounge section here because it is light hearted and an easy way for me to connect with people.
Keeping busy to not feel lonely is a coping mechanism IMO and if their is underlying lonliness, it will most likely keep popping up until it's needs are met... just my experience.
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01-01-2022, 04:39 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,468
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sometimes, slowing down can be a good thing.
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02-01-2022, 02:05 AM
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One could also give of themselves "in service" to others, many people and elders mostly can use some help as they and even more during this covid crisis. Small things, going to the store, picking up stuff for a person, driving a person to an appt. Little things and you get to know people and that fills your life.
A lady who just passed at 95 and was fortunate to have a young man come into her life, to help her. I would not be surprised if she didn't leave him something in her will.
At 83 and my issues with getting around due to surgery damage, am thankful for 3 young guys in my apt bldg who help me with easy stuff.
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02-01-2022, 05:31 PM
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Ascender
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 780
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like jaminhealth suggests. if circumstance can possibly allow it--though it may seem a daunting prospect--helping others with their difficulties is also going to help dispel loneliness that a potential helper may be experiencing. As is joining some form of communal activity which has no ambitions beyond caring for the welfare of others,-human or otherwise.--or just simple physical exercise enjoyment, zumba, dancing, singing for example. Covid restrictions may make these activities less easy to get involved involved with of course.
thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings kralaro.--shared by many of us at some time or another I'm sure. all the best.
x.
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03-01-2022, 03:50 PM
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Ascender
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: India
Posts: 984
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Thank you RedEmbers. Before starting this thread, i did reach out on friends making websites, put a lot of work there, but it didn't work out. You're right: keeping busy didn't solve my problem. It worked for like one and half day, and then loneliness took over, disabling me to do any further work.
So as i was stuck, i gave my attention in devotion to God, listened to some chants of Hindu Gods, it gave me wonderful relief, made me unstuck. Also surrendered to God, even if not fully, it made me so happy. But loneliness returned when i woke up next morning.
So i took your guys suggestion by taking tomorrow's appointment to work at an NGO. I've worked there before too few years ago.
As i was feeling empty, i listened to an NDE story, as listening to NDE lessons have made me happy in past. So in this new video i watched, the NDEr said she learned to be fearless. I imbibed this lesson and have been feeling much better since. I don't know whether working at the NGO would make me feel even better, but i don't want to cancel tomorrow's arrangement, will be going there and will update you guys.
My thanks to each of you.
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03-01-2022, 05:13 PM
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southwest, USA
Posts: 25,422
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Had no idea what NGO meant.
NGO
-a nonprofit organization that operates independently of any government, typically one whose purpose is to address a social or political issue.
"thousands of people have been displaced, seeking refuge at police stations, churches, and temporary accommodation set up by NGOs"
__________________
.*I'll text in Navy Blue when I'm speaking as a Mod. :)
Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru.
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06-01-2022, 02:52 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: India
Posts: 984
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Yeah that's the definition of NGO :)
So i went to the NGO for 2 days. Had great experience. To me the people there were so nice, friendly, appreciative, loving; experienced amazing chemistry with them. Totally opposite experience to what i had on online friends finding websites. I experienced heaven thanks to you guys :) I'm not feeling lonely anymore.
I noticed that when i was feeling lonely, no one was replying to my messages. But when the loneliness went away then i received unexpected messages from people. I've noticed this before also in my life, that when i want to talk to anyone i send messages to multiple people, no one replies, but then when i become happy again not desiring replies anymore then i immediately get lots of messages. Haha.
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