the flower of being

[shivatar]

Deep in meditation I sought to see myself in the present moment. I was drawn inside and I was witnessing what looked like a flower with thoughts and images streaming out of it very rapidly. Because I was not focusing on any thought or image I could feel the true immensity of thoughts that bombard us in each present moment.

I also could have been witnessing the ego. That is to say I was witnessing my own connection to the universal mind, my individual self, not my true self/cosmic self/divine self.

I'm inclined to think ego/connection of my mind to universal mind. Because it didn't feel that amazing or cosmic, it was a feeling of deep fascination and mystery but not love or acceptance. I wasn't witnessing my true self, for I was experiencing my true self, I was witnessing my egoic self in some strange amorphous shape.

[hovhannes]

Originally Posted by shivatar

I wasn't witnessing my true self, for I was experiencing my true self, I was witnessing my egoic self in some strange amorphous shape.

Is it possible to pinpoint a true self? What would that true self be?

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by hovhannes

Is it possible to pinpoint a true self? What would that true self be?

I don't know yet because I'm still on the journey to discover self.

I have an idea about how the egoic self defines itself appart from the true self.

It's my belief that if we had no egoic self, there would be no transformation on basic things. Anger would come to me and go right through me. But with my egoic self I can take that anger when it comes through me and transform it into love before it exits my energy field of thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, etc.

It's me, the divine ego, that transforms anger into love. If I had no ego and were simply a being of instinct and nothing more then I would have no reason to transform anger into love, there would be no significance to my life, my thoughts, my identity.




I would also say that the true self is everything. True self is anger, it is love, it is egoic, it is everything but not a single anything. it is everything as a whole, a transcendent unity.