having problems falling in love...

It hurts to love anyone...all i ever get is rejection.. Im very playful... I showed interest in a woman i met on the bus. Lol. By softly hitting her with a pillow. And asking her by showing her my text on my phone if she can hold my hand. I did ask for her number. She texted me about herself. She said shes in a spiritual relationship. And is very god oriented.

Im tired of seemingly falling in love with all the wrong people. Im very spiritual...interested at least in developing a spiritual relationship. Astral hugs too :)

Im just tired of it... It really hurts you know?

[R.Thomas]

What caught my eye is the word "hurt", I don't like seeing people in pain. I haven't the foggiest clue about what an astral hug is or how to give one, but if I did, I'd give you one. Everyone deserves to feel loved, desired, special, and have a sense of belonging. You've always been nice to me during my time here, I wish I knew what an astral hug was.

I wish I had advice for falling in love, but I've tried giving it in the past, and it didn't seem to soothe much. I never had a burning desire to fall in love or find "the one". I always had a very relaxed approach: "All I want to do is get to know you. Maybe we become friends. Maybe we become lovers. Maybe we have a physical connection or a spiritual one. Maybe both happens. Then again, maybe nothing happens, in which case I harbor no hurt feelings. How can you be angry with someone when they tried to start something special with you but nothing grew or grew in a way that was unexpected? People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. If we knew off the bat about why someone was in our life, it would cut down on a lot of heartbreak, but be so much less magical." However, you're talking to a guy who started dating at age 16, didn't get engaged until age 32, and just now has his first kid at age 36. Which suits me perfectly, but my relaxed approach to looking for love doesn't seem to suit many people , which is why I won't give you advice, but I can give empathy :)

I think that's good advice - relax a bit. Stop going out of your way to try. Just meet and be with women a bit. It does sound as if 'loneliness' is making you fall for anyone decently attractive who might give you a cuddle. Just take it easy.

A meeting glance means nothing on its own. A second glance immediately following might be a sign, might not. A prolonged meeting of gazes with a smile is a good sign. Warm smiles come more from the eyes than their lips.

Do you have any hobbies, group interests? Have you something to make yourself interesting about? Are you good at small talk? Showing non-amoral interest in people? It's going to be more difficult if you're shy and can't open conversations easily but it is crucial to be interested in the person as a person, not as a prospect.

I have had some experience when unrequited approaches don't work (and it's just as difficult for a girl) but you have to do some contemplation...finding hurt in a rebuff is going to reinforce whatever it is about you that's a turn-off. You need to sit back and say, "Oh well, so what? There'll be other times." and do some meditative work being totally honest with yourself. That's important. Trying to solve our problems on false assumptions, false beliefs gets us nowhere.

Have you asked yourself why you're attracted to the particular females to which you head? Is it looks?
...

Good questions.. Ill answer them here.

I have hobbies that interest me' drawing. Writing. And music and i go to a group.

Im not shy about starting conversations, the woman i spoke with i saw she was crying and startes talking to her about random stuff and talking to other people on the bus in general.. I ussd to be shy but ive learned how to say what i want to say. And ask more qiestions about people to gauge the conversation and how they feel about talking to me.

Yeah it is true i should not let it bother me. It wasnt even personal. Lol. The majority of tje ones i got acquainted with recently all had husbands or were in some way unavailable. Thats ok. :)

Thanks lorelyen and thomas. Its nice knowing you both understand and it helps me to understand too. :)

[Gem]

Originally Posted by OneChord

It hurts to love anyone...all i ever get is rejection.. Im very playful... I showed interest in a woman i met on the bus. Lol. By softly hitting her with a pillow. And asking her by showing her my text on my phone if she can hold my hand. I did ask for her number. She texted me about herself. She said shes in a spiritual relationship. And is very god oriented.

Im tired of seemingly falling in love with all the wrong people. Im very spiritual...interested at least in developing a spiritual relationship. Astral hugs too :)

Im just tired of it... It really hurts you know?

Yea, loneliness is pretty hard, and a part of humanity, but my mum says, be the the kind partner you want - though I'm not sure if that works or not.

[fennel]

OneChord, I think your technique needs a bit of refining. Most strangers will not enjoy being smacked by a pillow and asked to hold hands right away. If this woman is someone you see frequently on the bus, she might be more open to conversation after a while.

Perhaps you could meet someone through a class or extra- curricular activity? That way, you could become familiar and softly approach her. Ask her out for coffee or tea and chat, but holding hands would not happen right away. Baby steps.

[knightofalbion]

Maybe you are being too full on? You cannot hurry or dictate anything when it comes to love!

Perhaps joining a spiritual dating agency would make sense. Then you have people actively looking for the same thing as you and ... who knows, maybe, having a common interest, you might 'click' with somebody.

The Universe is all-powerful, but things seldom get served up on a plate. You have to create the right environment for things to be able to happen ...

Just don't get tired.. take your time and go to as many places as you can and meet lots of people then introduce yourself to as many women as possible and know them better first before deciding which one. Don't get tired.. It only comes when you least expect it.

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by knightofalbion

Maybe you are being too full on? You cannot hurry or dictate anything when it comes to love!

Perhaps joining a spiritual dating agency would make sense. Then you have people actively looking for the same thing as you and ... who knows, maybe, having a common interest, you might 'click' with somebody.

The Universe is all-powerful, but things seldom get served up on a plate. You have to create the right environment for things to be able to happen ...

oh my god! Knightoffalbion, do such spiritual dating agencies exist ?

[Lucyan28]

Onechord, talking metaphorically about Love as a battlefield, I believe that all those battles are part of your preparation, so you could be ready for the big war called Love =)