My first amazing experience!

Amazing, I'm shaking still, slightly from what just happened.

My mother briefly read me something off of the internet about meditating today. Which is on November 29th, 2011. A psychic woman was saying something about meditating tonight at a certain time, and that there is a "portal". I half-paid attention, I asked what about this "portal", to my mother. I was being snarky and skeptical as usual, shouting out "Where is the evidence, where can we see it?" Then, I think my Mother said, "No, the portal is within you." Blah, blah, blah. So, I said "oh", and just thought 'whatever', I may meditate, it interested me somewhat.

So at about 11:30 PM tonight, I was sitting at my computer chair. Doing nothing. Out of boredom, I started to google about the different types of meditation.

I am curious about it, I tried it a few times before, but never had an amazing experience or followed through with it, but I always remember getting close to doing it right, or feeling something unusual. But it still intrigues me on some level. So, I am just bored, curious, searching about meditation, I'm reading the opinions and literature from all these different sources, I just don't know who to believe. I start to daze off and get bored of reading the plethora of info everywhere on this subject. So, my inner self just stops reading and decides to try my own way, with no instructions.

I start to feel slightly tired, my eye lids begin to weigh down. Im leaning back on my computer chair with my leg on my futon. My head tilts to the side and my arm holds it up, but my eyes are closed and I just begin to 'try' things. I begin by just thinking positive. I think of my body getting better, my progress with my workout and diet, I see myself becoming the goal in my head, and I recognize the progress I made thus far. I feel slightly warm and happy inside, because I'm just being positive and giving my self a pat on the back.

Then I envision, my other half, which is my other self. (Long story short, I always pictured my soul as a duality, a positive half and a negative half, the latter seems to be me most the time. lol

Being a pisces man and going along with the duality of its astrological symbol. Essentially, I have a twin ME, who is better, more positive, more cheery, bright and good and surrounded by light. Basically everything that is the polar opposite of evil and negative.

I see him or the other me (the positive one) and we are joining together trying to form a mutuality, or a bond. Becoming 'zen' together. It feels good, I jump between controlling the good me and consoling the bad one, at first I was the bad one who was relieved when I saw my good half, then I became my good half and consoled my bad half. This might seem really crazy to other people but its so natural to me. And I've thought of this many times before. I'm sorry, please don't think Im a nutbag for this. lol

Any way, my mind then gets blurry and hazy in between all of this and I just start to see things in symbols and broken images. My subconscious is so emphasized on being "positive" that I begin to see just the + symbol, which refers to "positive". I start to see these orbs or ions that glow with the plus symbol on them, I'm just basically overloading positivity into me.

Then, I start to feel more and more relaxed and my mind starts to feel more and more like a dream state.

I just then thought of beams of light penetrating my organs and cleansing them. I thought of quitting smoking and how I want to cleanse myself and be pure. I want to be fit, healthy, smoke free and beaming with positivity and serenity.

I then see clear water, Im moving my head through it. A river of clear water, as I move my head throughout it, I start to feel it, in an imaginative way. This is when things start to take off.

My imagination is out of control and I start to feel like I can do anything and go anywhere.

In the back of mind though, throughout all of this, I'm worried of doing an oobe or an astral projection because they scare me. I never did them but I am just a pansy when it comes to that stuff. Yet, I'm still curious of them....talk about a dilemma!

So, I thought ''let me rise to my safe station'', which is another thing of mine, I can elaborate on later, but long story short. Before this mediation, I would envision a safe station in the clouds on a different plane that is mystical and beautiful. Its a place where you can be healed by the clouds and light. Its fantastical and mesmerizing and otherworldly.

So, I start to feel myself rise, and rise. Flying to this place, flying up to the clouds, i begin to feel like I'm really rising! This is getting awkward for me here, but I had to keep composure and keep my eyes closed.

At this point, boom!

Something remarkable happens!

All the hairs on body start to raise and it feels like they are shimmering, a rapid tingling sensation comes over my entire body and my heart beat is heard through my chest! I feel it and am amazed and yet still sort of shocked but I must remain calm to continue. I keep thinking of my self rising into this cloud of wonder, and as I do, the feelings intensify!

The tingling grew beyond a tingling and into this hard to describe feeling. It was as if a vibration was beaming through my entire body with a ridiculous intensity!

It was so powerful that it scared me and I had to stop. I felt like I couldn't even handle its power, so I bailed and I got scared. It was also sort of like adrenaline was pumping through me, but that doesn't make sense right? Isn't meditation practiced to calm and get rid of adrenaline?!

So, when I opened my eyes, it was a tad hazy, like I was coming out of a dream and my heart beat was through my chest. It was strong yet still slow, which is weird as well.

Coming out of it, I was in a mixture of calm, anxiety and clarity! Now isn't that a mix mash of emotion!

It was so remarkable that I instantly wrote it down like I did here now. I had to share this, if not with others, at least just to document it for myself, so I will remember it, I feel its news worthy to me.

And now I am even more curious than before about meditation.

Thanks for your time if you've read this far, I appreciate any input.

PS. Being a skeptic with the metaphysical and such, I wonder if this is just a chemical reaction my body made from my mind or if it's something more and completely different?

[Ravens_Light]

Hello, Cynical..

Thanks so much for sharing!

I don't think it was just something your body created.. I do feel based on what you shared that you were connecting to Source energy..

It was very interesting to read in detail how you were feeling, what you were experiencing and how you handled the experience in terms of bringing yourself to different levels and taking charge of your emotional state..

My husband started meditating about a year before I did and the changes I've seen in him really prompted me to start myself which I did and I've had some interesting experiences as well (tho' prehaps not quite like yours which were pretty amazing!)..

IMHO meditation is all about allowing our resistance to fall away and in doing so we will naturally allow ourselves to experience the connection to Source that is already there..

And, connection to Source is all that is needed for healing, finding answers and obtaining clarity -- about all that 'is', and about who we are.

I am still working on this, but I believe with all my heart that meditation -- plain, simple, focusing (on breath or a flame or whatever) -- is the best means to that end.

All I can say is it certainly couldn't hurt to keep meditating... You'll find that it will get easier and easier and that you'll be able to connect more readily over time. Not every meditation will produce such results, but it's not the sensory experiences that really matter (sometimes as interesting as they are, it's easy to get hooked on seeing colors, symbols, feeling or hearing things)...

It's just about allowing yourself that space...

What I have found happens after practicing this, is that in your daily life you'll find that this place of peace will be showing up automatically. You'll be more clear in your daily interactions.. Things that might normally upset you, will not do so nearly as much... You'll find that if you do get upset, it is much much easier to let it go -- and you won't even know why!

My mind I think tells me that 'its' just not worth it', I think... To be upset..

And, forgiveness of self and others comes much more easily.

I would say that I'm always skeptical.. Yet open.. Perhaps it's more of being a 'questioner & tester'.... I don't take something at face value, pretty much ever..

It is wonderful to read of someone feeling a bit cynical, having such a life changing experience - or at least one that prompts you to open a bit more to what really 'is', and perhaps a more positive view of our existence. :)

Blessings along your journey.. I look forward to more of your posts, should you feel inclined to write more.

Cam/EarthMamma

[Xan]

Cb... I have only one thing to add to your good advice above.

Learn to breathe through your fear so it doesn't control you. By facing it through to the other side... maybe in your cloud zone... you'll find yourself stronger and freer, whatever comes along. This way, too, you'll develop more trust in what you experience.


Xan

Many types of energetic portals exist. There’s allot on the Internet about this type of thing. Some is truly wonderful & a great source of information while some is ROFL silly or even problematic. Don’t hesitate to use your discernment to sift through information. Anything presented w/ fear (or a big price tag) can be safely discarded. When perusing various writings, it can be useful to put info. in a Hmmm? Under Consideration mental file & give your self awhile before moving it over into the belief category. It can stay in the Hmmm? file as long as wanted to be modified, discarded, or moved into the belief category whenever wanted.

Different things work for different people, so this is one reason why there is allot of information out there. Some benefit from meditations w/ allot of process while others prefer a much more free form method. There are a huge amount of them. Meditation is a useful tool to connect w/ our core energies & the Universal ones. We have a large spiritual team (different than HS- part of our energies) that is there to help us every step of the way. They are on standby & can’t help unless we ask them to. You can ask your spiritual team to access the energies you accessed a little slower to let you get used to them. We are in 100% control of how fast we progress.

Your method of investigating, that of being idly curious might not be favored by those who see spiritual growth as serious business, but is an EXCELLENT perspective to explore this from as one isn’t overly invested in HAVING to have a particular experienced & usually isn't hampered by having preconceived notions about what will occur. This position eliminates the unproductive anxiety that some who are trying very hard often have & gives one a very useful position of being laid back about it.

There are some things that duality may apply to, but see your soul as being beyond this. It sounds like you’re talking about connecting w/ your higher self (HS). Don’t look at your self as the lesser part of your soul. Our energies here are just as honored as any other portion of our energies. Suzan Carroll’s multidimensions.com has allot of info. about the Ds & our journey through them. Very good search engine. It’s not like we have a good half & bad half. What freqeuncy we exist at is a choice.

You had some very useful visualizations. Shift from feeling that your ‘mind is out of control’ to having great fun exploring new territory. Do this w/o any fear or worry. Don’t be concerned that you will have any trouble w/ connecting back to your body. As you explore this new territory ask any questions you have about it.

It is very common that even when people are trying hard to have experienced like you had that they are startled & even scared when they have them. After all, it’s a REALLY new experience. TRUST that this is a very REAL experience. Just because it is in the nonphysical realms doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Teilhard de Chardin- French philosopher

BEing an open-minded skeptic is a very good position to explore the metaphysical from.

[Ravens_Light]

Hey Mattie.. Just wanted to say I reallly enjoy so many of your posts! :)

Thank you, Earth Mamma, Xan, and mattie for your kind and helpful words.

I haven't even begun to research "energetic portals". Possibly I could have encountered one while meditating? After all, it felt like an energetic experience. However, it may be something else. I will have to look into it.

I realized that I must not let fear keep controlling me, I agree Xan. When I was a younger kid, I was more fearless and I also enjoyed life more because of that alone. Hell, if I was 10 years younger, I wouldn't be scared of those sensations, I'd bet. :)

Having this experience did open my mind a lot more about the spiritual & metaphysical realm. I definitely will remain to have an open mind about all of this too.

great thanks for sharing

[Astral Explorer]

What you described is symptoms of pre Astral Projection. Heart racing, vibrations, and it sounds like you were experiencing torso surging. Welcome to the other side.