Hey Fall,
I am glad that you finally arrived at the surrendering stage.
About choice, I had thought about choices that I thought were my own decisions.
Well.. I had learnt that all those choices were already destined.
I just thought that I was making my own decisions. Foolish thoughts....
If you think about "that fateful choice" before you met her, you had hundreds or even thousands choices that led you to the moment when you faced that one fateful choice.
None of those choices were your own decisions.
You were destined to meet her. You did not have a choice.
It is best to just surrender to that fact as well.
Peace.