Between

[Abbara]

Between

Between the cares of life
that call for thought
the joys, the strife

When duty fades away
between the hours
of night and day

That’s when the poetry
begins to find
its way to me.

In whispers, oh, so light
I quickly jot
Lest they take flight.

Between the moments when
by duty bound
I wield my pen!

© 06-08-2002

Recently, I began reading my 40 years of journals. I found over 50 poems in them, many of which I didn't perceive as poems when I wrote them because they didn't rhyme. I've learned better.

So I have fiddled around with my poetry files a lot, giving those 50 their deserved recognition. I have 907 individual files. Some are short and personal, written for the e-cards my deceased husband and I wrote and sent to each other daily for almost three years. Some are long and difficult to read out loud with choppy rhythm etc. I'm always re-writing.

But the strangest thing happened just this month. Instead of feeling like a mother hen, turning her eggs or a miser counting his coins... I realized that a great deal of the poetry was no longer pertinent to my life. Much of it was written to allow me to express anger, fear, sorrow, frustration... my deepest spiritual moments. All emotions I was uncomfortable with expressing for real. I can mark my spiritual trail by looking at the progression.

One thing I learned, that if I refused to write down those things I deemed (judged) unworthy, imperfect... the flow of insight dried up. So I have a bunch of poems I marked "do not share" in my data base list. LOL But they do have my respect.

[brokenwings]

So tonight I was perusing old journals and noticing some poems I forgot about - and then I log onto SF and find this post!!

Sometimes you just hear the Twilight Zone music a playing in your head!

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Abbara

Between

Between the cares of life
that call for thought
the joys, the strife

When duty fades away
between the hours
of night and day

That’s when the poetry
begins to find
its way to me.

In whispers, oh, so light
I quickly jot
Lest they take flight.

Between the moments when
by duty bound
I wield my pen!

© 06-08-2002

Recently, I began reading my 40 years of journals. I found over 50 poems in them, many of which I didn't perceive as poems when I wrote them because they didn't rhyme. I've learned better.

So I have fiddled around with my poetry files a lot, giving those 50 their deserved recognition. I have 907 individual files. Some are short and personal, written for the e-cards my deceased husband and I wrote and sent to each other daily for almost three years. Some are long and difficult to read out loud with choppy rhythm etc. I'm always re-writing.

But the strangest thing happened just this month. Instead of feeling like a mother hen, turning her eggs or a miser counting his coins... I realized that a great deal of the poetry was no longer pertinent to my life. Much of it was written to allow me to express anger, fear, sorrow, frustration... my deepest spiritual moments. All emotions I was uncomfortable with expressing for real. I can mark my spiritual trail by looking at the progression.

One thing I learned, that if I refused to write down those things I deemed (judged) unworthy, imperfect... the flow of insight dried up. So I have a bunch of poems I marked "do not share" in my data base list. LOL But they do have my respect.

Oh we have so much in common. Even a Taurean child..

Funny all my poems have been planted everywhere all over the place in so many forums..Even the ones I thought I wouldn't share, I had no care in that space and they came before I realized what they were showing.. The funny aspect of this was, that there was no edit button working, to delete or change, once I realized what was flowing, so naturally I was then exposed forever somewhere, which scared me more..lol. I exposed it all, but often in just the right place that made me feel safe. The do not share ones came on fast and furious in a heightened creative opening, that had me awake twenty four seven literally, writing about two hundred or so in two weeks, I was really waking up to myself in everyway of myself, no time to think, plan or sleep either. lol

[Abbara]

Sometimes you just hear the Twilight Zone music a playing in your head!

Yeah, brokenwings, I hear the twilight Zone music from both you and natures flow.

y I was then exposed forever somewhere, which scared me more..lol. I exposed it all, but often in just the right place that made me feel safe. The do not share ones came on fast and furious in a heightened creative opening, that had me awake twenty four seven literally, writing about two hundred or so in two weeks, I was really waking up to myself in everyway of myself, no time to think, plan or sleep either. lol

Feeling exposed by having my writing out in public was scary. Just finding myself, I didn't want others to think they knew me better than I knew myself before I knew myself. LOL. Safety from judgement was a big issue. And yes, I also had a time of being kept awake by poems running through my head. My "do not share" list includes righteous anger at specific people, blatantly sexual, and those about other religious traditions I sampled. All to be hidden from family eyes. LOL

Brokenwings, I love this poem so much I would like to share it with a coupe friends if that's ok.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Abbara

Yeah, brokenwings, I hear the twilight Zone music from both you and natures flow.



Feeling exposed by having my writing out in public was scary. Just finding myself, I didn't want others to think they knew me better than I knew myself before I knew myself. LOL. Safety from judgement was a big issue. And yes, I also had a time of being kept awake by poems running through my head. My "do not share" list includes righteous anger at specific people, blatantly sexual, and those about other religious traditions I sampled. All to be hidden from family eyes. LOL

Brokenwings, I love this poem so much I would like to share it with a coupe friends if that's ok.

Are you my twin? lol..

Oh you did well in your do not share list. They were the ones that landed from me out to be seen. (I remember a few people passing through asked others whether, I was losing the plot, in fact I was losing everything..lol. Which is why I find myself accepting so much of others through release. It is such an important part of healing the whole self )

Its good we can laugh now when we reflect and look back at those deeper letting go times. I know poetry was in fact my godsend to release so much and so deep in me. I am not sure any therapy session could cover such ground to get so much out in so many ways of how it was all twisted and locked inside me...

[brokenwings]

Share which poem? But of course!

[Abbara]

Oh for pete's sake! I got jumbled on which thread I was writing and which poem I was speaking of. Brokenwings' Circle of Self

[Abbara]

Naturesflow, I agree on the value of poetry for speeding a healing process. I found poetry let more surface into the light of day than journaling. I did a lot of breathwork, Holotropic and Rebirthing, that allowed a tremendous amount of secret sorrow to be dealt with. LOL, secret rage too. I hid from me quite well.