Oddities. Advice please?

well i had just moved from NJ to TN. i was dating someone for 6 months whom of which was very christian, and some things happened infront of him that made him think ill of me. he sprung out of bed one night and thought his house was being broken into. yet there was no one there, i didnt move from the bed because i knew what it was i could feel it. and many nights at his place while i was there, at night it would come and walk around. watch me with him. i dumped him because he was a very selfish person and had wanted to change me into what he wanted in a woman. and well... i wasnt having it. just like he wasnt ok with my spirituality.

i then started dating someone else for 3 months. im still in the process of dumping him he doesnt seem to be getting the hint. i told him that i was fed up with him and dont wish to stay in the relationship but he's just not getting it. trying to let him down gently is not working. he pretended to be someone he wasnt. he's 3yrs younger than me, compeltely immature, no sense of responsibility, selfish also, and is a complete slob and i just cant take it anymore. he needs a nanny not a girlfriend.

so i decide im completely fed up, after being single for over a year prior to all this, by choice. i feel like throwing in the towel to just be alone again. because id rather be alone than put up with that garbage. i dont need the headache and aggrivation.

but then... i started working a new job, and a guy who works a store down from me in the same plaza came into the store while i was outside taking a smoke break. at first i had thought nothing of it. then he stepped back out and asked me where something was. my co-worker smoking with me whos been there a while said he knew where it was that he was trying to talk to me. i still thought nothing of it. so... i finished smoking and went back inside and then i got a good look at him. jesus christ he was beautiful. so pretty i thought that he couldnt possibly be trying to talk to me in that manner that my co-worker was just trying to make me feel cute. i mean i know im not ugly and i get hit on alot but... idk... he was kind of intimidatingly good-looking. i just dismissed it as him trying to boost his ego by getting my attention.

then i see him again, he comes in the store 5 times on his day off. back and forth saying he keeps forgetting things. each time talking to me. i learned where he's from and that hes only 21 (big uh-oh, i know i know 21yr old boys are awful and dont know what they want). to everything i was saying he seemed to respond in a way like... he wanted me to like him really bad or something. i dont know. all i know is that since my interactions with him ive been having these insanely symbolic dreams. i dont even know his name. and i havent dreamt of him but my unconcious mind is like telling me to go for it. even though my friends whom are 30+ tell me to just "do" him and do away with him because of how young he is lol. though thats not my style...

i really want nothing to do with the headache of another guy. ive swooned over a pretty face before but not like this, i cant stop thinking of him, wondering about him, my curiosity is eating me alive. his age bothers me immensely to the point where i dont want to feel how i do. he's away in another state right now but returns monday i believe. i dont know what the hell my problem is but my physical reaction to him and non-physical im finding to be very disturbing. help?

Sometimes we are brought together for lessons. Try just dating and not getting serious again. Keep it casual :)

[Silver]

I'm with Medium Laura on this. Can't you just date this one without getting physical, iykwim? Btw, sit and think about how you feel to have someone think of you like "...do her and do away..."

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

I'm with Medium Laura on this. Can't you just date this one without getting physical, iykwim? Btw, sit and think about how you feel to have someone think of you like "...do her and do away..."

he's a dude. my friends said that because thats typically what younger guys do. as per dating without being physical, of course i can. and id plan that - never 'give it up' unless they're gonna stay. i know how it goes lol.

honestly his face makes me want to keep him, but i should get to know him more i guess. i think im just gonna go with it and give him a chance. whatever happens, happens... just not going to be stupid about it. but thank you both for your advice. :o)

[Silver]

Age shouldn't bother a person if they seem mature. What kind of vibes are you getting off of him so far? You aren't that much older are you? My parents had a big age difference, and lots of others do, too. Sometimes it helps to think about where you want you and your life to take you about 7 years down the line. What do you picture your life being like? Married with children? Single? Career-wise? Think about personal goals, if any. I think it's possible to find a good-looking mate and they are actually nice, too. Give the guy a chance but don't 'give in' LoL~* Good luck.

Age most certainly doesn't matter, it's maturity. My partner is 12 years younger than I am. Don't also just fall for his looks, definitely get to know the person. That's why dating is like it is. Test the waters :)