Can a man protect himself from negative intentions/energy from a females?

[Sir Neil]

[quote=Panorama361]Hey Sir Neil, Yeah, I've actually heard of those kind of laws, like the Law of Reflection and so on. And this has actually come up a few times where I was asked if I was doing something on my end to attract narcissistic people.

But, the thing is, I've also heard from many spiritual practitioners that narcissistic people are simply just naturally attracted to empathic people, like myself, simply because the light that we carry is like a goldmine of energy to them.


And this could also be your problem: believing that narcissists are attracted to empaths, will create that experience for you. See if you can change that belief. Believe that you only attract peaceful people.

Hi Panorama 361, I agree it can be worrisome that your narc-sis is into Wicca for no good.

I understand you too have trauma-bond to the narc-sister which is I am afraid natural when it comes to narc creating that. I don't think outsiders who has not experienced this on their own can understand with all due respect.

What I have learned is that one do best by keeping those at a arm's length if not completely out, depending on how one self is doing that day or days. Sometimes I have a better shield towards it and can just watch things go by and not let it effect me, others I can't if I myself am without the shield I need to have when around a narc. One needs to un-weapon them, see through the tactics. The best response is sometimes no response. If they do lets say silence treatment on you you do it to them. You show them. Then you'll see how quick they give that up, meaning you have seen through their tactic. When ever they do stuff to you you show them it don't work. You have to have a strong shield around you. You have to not be in any need on any level to have a relationship with them or for you to care in any way what they think of you and what they can do to your life.

What i see happening here is that your sis has now remarkably enough I have to add as I do think good people are into Wicca, but of course now you have someone with a poison inside her and you sis in this case will now try to use Wicca as black magic, as the poison she comes from within. So she will use this to scare y ou and others. So now you have this fear, rattling. It's tactic. What can I say? That is what it is. Now you as the better person will then go that you will not do that to her or anyone and use words and try to reason. Forget about that. I would say try to act as if you simply do not care, that it has no effect on you, does not create fear in you. She is trying to get to an advantage, to get superior, which she thinks is the natural order. If this gets bad contact someone who remove black magic and try to do things yourself from keep her poison away. The best way to have a relationship with a narc - is to not have any, you know what I mean? Sadly becuause it is "family" you may feel obligated of forced in some way to still have it, but then try everything you can to not care. Let that person go. I have been over the years run down by a narcissist in law, accumulating incidents over time. It was fine by everyone else as long as I did not do anything about it. I can't say that I felt protected by my own husband even if he did try as he himself was another victim and that this was normal to him, he was not aware. First step always: Get aware. When I began doing something about it it sort of forced other family members to despite their own fear get up as well. Narcs do not see consequences like we do. We see it because we look at this at an equal manner. They look at things because of their disorder that the natural order is that they are on top and the only one who is going to pay for any consequences is you, not them.

If I should take an example of this: I was exposed to triangulation for years. I was waiting and hurt that my husband was not aware of my situation. I felt before this was on him to react, his family. His narc-parent took a rule where I was to be triangulated out of the equation. That is I was not invited to spend time with them, as well as any child, but that they only wanted so and so. As my husband was quilt tripped into going along with this I then realized I had given him too much. I had given him my entire world. My family. My friends. Hell, even my city (activities etc). I then began making my own stuff, that is I would schedule time away on holidays even not including my husband and not caring if I was invited or we were or not to my husband's family. I would exclude my husband and his family (most of the people in the family are wonderful people and I get along with them). It was to show my husband that YOU brought in this rule in OUR relationship. I am now doing the same to you as you have done to me. I was not unkind, I was not using words. I was SHOWING my husband - this is the rule that applies here as well. You brought it in. Now we play it, both of us. I refused then to see myself as a victim, as someone inferior, thinking oh what is wrong with me, what did I do to the narc to make this happen to me. I was also holding my husband RESPONSIBLE for allowing this rule in. Because even if people are guilt tripped and even if they are suddenly so interested in looking at the wall paper in the kitchen that has only been there for years before, they have to be held accountable for allowing and acting according someone else's stupid rule. What happened was of course reactions. My husband could not protest even if there were times he tried. He would say o h they really want you there, everyone else is going. I said that was nice but I don't care, we have our own plans.

My husband came to realize (there were times he had no color at all in his face and I could see the torment in his eyes, and I knew he was having a worse time than I was about this as he was in the middle) what he had done. The narc was left to explain to people (working up a sweat perhaps) why we weren't there. it was starting to get embarrassed as it would make the narc look bad in front of other people.

So what ever rule the narc tries to take in to make others and you accept - you do that rule to them. They really can't say anything about it. And believe me they will try to change. But you have to show them. As long as you try to explain with words you will make yourself vulnerable. What I did took duration, to endure, and something I did I think even for years while still being kind to my husband. There were times I did feel very sorry for him but I also knew he either could take this as an opportunity to grow or he could continue being used/abused by the narc.

So what the conclusion was for my husband was that he grew. He chose to grow. He chose to not allow himself to be quilt tripped by his narc. But like always, first step is to get aware of what is truly going on.

When he and I did therapy he would say he was ashamed. He was ashamed of himself. that he had always wanted to think he was a better husband than that. That it was not him wanting to take in that rule in the relationship. Well he had taken in that rule. It may at first have been the narc's rule, but he had not objected to it but put himself beneath, inferior to it, and allowed it to happen.

The only time when I felt my old self come back, when I felt strong and I had clarity: It was when I did to my husband and to the narc what they did to me. My husband became very insecure. Here we had before developed in our relationship. The rule the narc had made up came after we were married and after we had our family. That was when it came. So that was like sending us back in time when my husband and I had not committed to one another. So my husband was changing a rule. And that is not what he wanted to represent to me. That is not what he wanted to give me. And he got very insecure. He got very much afraid that he was loosing me, us. It was important I think that he felt that. So he could do something about his situation. Now I can spend time being bitter and angry with him for not knowing better in the past but believe me he has already paid the price of that. Now he knows better. Now he's different. We have both grown from this. I needed to learn that when someone that you are in a relationship with take in a rule where you get to be placed inferior, vulnerable - you take that very same rule and you mirror it back. They do not see it coming. And they are the ones who should be exposed to it. Not you. You do nothing wrong by holding up a mirror so they can have a good look at themselves and you stand behind that mirror so you are protected. You have to separate what is their **** and what is your ****. And frankly just speaking for myself me being overly emphatic my boundaries were not where they should have been before. If a relationship was not working I would put 80% of it to work and the other one could just lay back. I don't do that no more. Sometimes people have to face their own consequences and not use me as a pillow so they will have a soft collision if it comes. I had to stop being so protective. The things I had been taught or thought were good things to have and how to be to others: I had to revalue that. Does not make me a cold person but I watch before I by instinct work the way I used to work. I think should this really be on my table? or is this someone else's responsibility? So you have to pile off layer after layer of your own behavior, your own instincts, what ever it takes to know - what kind of vulnerability can this narc-sis in this case use against you, and how can you make it into a situation where you mirror back.

Usually it is not just the narc that is the problem in these settings, it is the people around the narc as well, because as long as they are not aware of what is truly going on they are themselves a victim too to it.

You have to get aware on all levels what is going on so you can untangle yourself. I was also before like my husband and everyone else that the narc was able to work on, it is a process. And in that process you will feel the trauma bond, you will feel the anger. but the anger is actually a good thing, a healthy dose of it, but then make sure you don't get stuck there. That is too feeding the connection, feeding the fear.

Yes they sure are drawn more to empaths as they think that will give them the most as to too emotions as a total, an emotional reaction.

I was once a psychopath's fiance. He was expecting me to give him a sign when he took things too far with others as he knew I was sensitive to that while he was not. When I then deliberately did not and the person reacting in a bad way he would turn to me and blame me for it. Projecting his own responsibility. At the time I did not know of course he was a psychopath, had I known I would not have been his. I was highly sensitive, lots of emotions, every emotions showing in myself, but times even when he would ask me out front what sort of emotion I showed (they can't read all the emotions, psychopaths that is). I think he knew he had shortcomings and me by his side would give him, he thought, a better advantage. Narcs and psychopath's natural order is to dominate, they do not understand why you have to stick up like that, in a way sometimes it was as if he or too another narc I know acted as if he, they were protecting me, doing this for my own good. They lack a particular empathy so they can't for the life of them understand how it feels. The connections in the brain is broken. They can not help it. They are doomed to their own jail 24/7.

I used to waste a lot of negative energy on a narc in my life and before in the past the psychopath, which in itself is also what they want as energy to them at least make them feel a connection and make them feel important, they do not care so much I think if it is negative or positive. When you give them nothing of a reaction they will naturally get irritated etc with you but that is just because you are not playing no more.

So my advice to you regarding your trauma-bond/connection with your sister is to not play no more. She needs a kind of connection, energy.

What is weird too is that it is their greatest fear really: it is to be left alone, and yet they seem to do everything in their power for that to become the ending result. They do not want to be left by you, so they need you "down there" where you won't escape under.

If she is anything like a narc I know she would be after superficial status and I am afraid depending on her own nature she could think less of homosexuality for instance if it to her is something that is of less status. I hope I am not insulting you in any way and if I am I am so sorry. I believe homosexuality is meant to be, you are meant to be just what you are regarding your sexual orientation as well as bisexuals and heterosexuals. However what I have myself experienced with my husband's family is that the narc wants to mold you into being what the narcs wants you to be which is a higher level of status, so you will be "perfect", reflecting the narc (LOL). For instance the narc has tried to break everyone who comes from the outside into the family and mold them into it's perfect image. With me for instance it has been on about my weight. There has been this attitude that my good looking husband should use an equally good looking wife, the only problem with this is that I know I am attractive to some outside this narc-family-bubble. I think true attraction comes from loving yourself and having respect for yourself. The narc used a vulnerability in me which was my fear (again fear, very effective) would find me less attractive if I did not weight so and so or look so and so. That it would use other women as examples of what kind of woman my husband should have. My husband was on his own plan to be perfect or have to try to stay perfect by looking so and so, working out so and so as this was normal to him, an old rule within the family. Again here he had to pile of his own layers and not project anything out of me. When I had gained some weight and he told me I had to go and loose that I took a good look at my body and thought no, I do not. I was hurt that he, the superior husband, thought he could win an advantage and make me feel less about myself. That that was the price I was to pay for loving him than it was a price too high on my self esteem, my self respect. I could not do it. I left him. He needed that I think to wake up. All this time before I knew he was physically very attracted to me, no matter my weight that would vary over time. But I had had enough of the sickness he was passing on from the narc on to me. I think before I had this shield on and I could dismiss stuff but then it still began eating away at me, and it was down to fear, again. Had to get rid of the fear.

Every single family member born into the family and family members coming from the outside, every single one, has been a target for the narc and we all have different personalities, no one escapes. The narc feel it is very important how to be superior, present itself as that, with it's own looks, and so does everyone else in the family too. We have to be a certain way. So break down. Remold. That is what the narcs are after. And they think they are only doing it for your own good, hell they are even protecting you. You have to stand alone, you have to stand strong within your own and not care how the narc wants you to look or how to be.

I think if your sis has given you a low/er-status you do well too to strenghten other relationships outside this narc-family to pump up, to support you of who you are (your sexual orientation or what ever), so you find your people. That will make you less vulnerable to the narc-sister's rules and what ever status she wish to place upon you. You will then act like you do not care about what ever status she wish to give you, you are clear on your own status, and your own people in your life, you chose.

I did not know this before but my husband has said to the narc that if the narc ever says or try something ever again to me the narc will never see us ever again. The narc can be in control of it's strong instinct to manipulate and so far the few times I have now met the narc it has not tried anything, not a single thing. I have told my husband he did not need to say or do that as I get this is his family and he loves the narc and has a right to but he says enough is enough and that this is what he wants, that he only wish he had realized all this before to it's full extent.

I come from a family where I can see there are givers and takers. The takers needs the givers or else they would not be "superior". The takers can handle the takers, each other, as long as they are not playing on the same field. It is no give and take. If I was to look generations back I can still see this trait. If I am to look at a narc's family way back I can also see this. It is when two pieces of a puzzle fit, but they fit more on the expense of the other (the givers, or the passive ones too).

Today I still have trauma bond but working on it. I would say taoism and compassion (ways to forgiveness), you can go to youtube to watch some clips, will help you at the end of the day but you still need to get through all the steps before you go there, and you venting is also an important step, they all are ,but be sure not to get trapped, caught on one step but go to the next one. That can be tricky when there is trauma, trauma-bond and you might need help there, I know I do, for instance.

The good that the psychopath-ex and the narc in my life has done was to keep on pointing on my vulnerabilities, they seek vulnerabilities in everyone, it's what they do to get an upper hand. They have pointed at vulnerablities I did not even know I had. It has placed me in painful inner processes but at the end of the day I have realized what I want to stand for, my morals, and where I want to go, so in a way I have both become weaker but also stronger.

I have done my own inner experience and asked to see the core of both the psychopath and the narc in my life and both of them, after layers coming off, are good spirits. I have come to think they come to this earth, knowing they will be damaged this way for life, just as people with some serious disable that will help other people grow. Once I began see them this way instead I felt more hopeful. I have been afraid for instance that not only will they if they are member of my soul group sabotage for me in this life but perhaps even the next one. So for me to see, feel the very core of them, their goodness, their spirit's evolve has been something I needed, that has been positive. It has then been easier for me to let go and to forgive and to see them with compassion. If I was to be asked as a spirit would you like to be reborn as a narc or psychopath I would say no, thank you, I think I'm good. the sort of jail that I have felt, experienced the ex, the psychopath, to be in, I can't even put words to those feelings. Perhaps it is so that psychopaths and narcs in reality are far advanced souls and have been taken on this punishment, this pain, this disorder, this inner damage, to sacrifice not feeling empathy, not feeling love, as a way for the rest of us to recognize the good even more and chose that path? We can chose that path. They can not, not in this life time they can't.

They too can have cognitive empathy, not the other one so this can be how they can easily read people and then manipulate people. Manipulating people give them a sense of control/power and of course they need that because deep down they are scared to death. They have so much fear, even if they can not recognize it as such, this why they can keep this up. They cling to any superficial status they can (looks. wealth, narc supply etc) in order to feel somewhat alive and to try to fool others and even themselves of their value, they need it this badly as they themselves think without they have no value. What I have learned is that they can go on and off on the manipulation but that it is difficult for them not to go on the on, as it is in their nature (to feel that fear that they do not recognize).

your sister in-planting fear in you because of her abuse of wicca style is something you have to break as her unrecognized fear has now become yours and a way for her to feel powerful. Try to not place yourself inferior to that. I know this is not easy. I still have difficulty regulating old fear from the relationship I had with my psychopath-ex, as he too would use fear as a way to control me. It's what they do. I do not believe you have done anything at all to deserve this or that this is a reflection on you somehow. They wish to take you down from the high level you are at and keep you beneath themselves. I am sure you too attract wonderful people into your sphere, I do at least, have done so all my life. I have to remind myself sometimes to give these wonderful people the energy, and not let it go to waste to the few people, the narc, and the ex, psychopath, that connection, that energy will keep you inferior and weaker. If you could spiritually LET GO of the sister, to not care either way you are well on your way and to then find ways to fight your own fear about this. Wish you all the best with it :)

[Panorama361]

Originally Posted by asearcher

Hi Panorama 361, I agree it can be worrisome that your narc-sis is into Wicca for no good.

I understand you too have trauma-bond to the narc-sister which is I am afraid natural when it comes to narc creating that. I don't think outsiders who has not experienced this on their own can understand with all due respect.

Hi asearcher. Wow! I genuinely appreciate you sharing all that wealth of information with me. I emphasize with a lot of what you've went through & I'm glad that you've been able to heal for the most part. Hope you're fully able to eliminate all the trauma in the future.

Also, yeah I didn't take any offense to the part where you about homosexuality. It's okay lol.

Thank you, I'm sorry though I write so much I have difficulty describing what I want to make a point out of with few words, LOL. And I don't even talk as much in reality, believe it or not. Something just happens when I write.

I hope everything works out for you too! :)

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi, The Administration here wants us to only quote 2-3 sentences when we quote others...we can always ref the Post # if that helps.
So, I shortened all your quoting.


I'm gonna give you a different perspective, other than looking at yourself and why are you drawing this to you.
See what you think--
Get super clear on who you are.
And who are you? A wonderful, kind, smart, nice person...that would never do what she is doing.
You are a powerful and strong person. Radiate that.
Connecting with your inner self brings your strength to the surface.
Not a mean strength.
Imagine yourself standing tall and erect and confident.
No one will mess with you...just give it a little time for her to see the change...radiate confidence in a bit of a knowing twinkle in your eye.
You'll also get every job you want. :) Why?
People want to be around others that are clear, kind, generous and radiating a confident smile.



Oh, I find narcissists are drawn to weakness. They also dislike being brushed off and ignored...so they get bored with you
and will move onto someone else to manipulate.

When on the topic on what narcissists are drawn to I went on a little Google hunt and found various sources, reasons what draws narcs in, figure I'd share, if of any interest to anyone

The 4 types of people narcissists are attracted to, according to a psychotherapist.

Why You're Attracting Narcissists...

Panorama360, I have thought some more (promise this will be short) and thinking what your narc-sister is doing to you and the rest is nothing short but threats and to put fear in you all. How about you threaten her with the police, to make a report?

I have found that once you expose, put the light right on a bully they will try to twist and turn but never the less it counts for something.

She might say it is a joke or the police wont take it seriously but she is not to decide, if you or any family member or other feel threaten by her attitude and words and potential actions of black magic I would go to the police as she could also besides from that - even if you or the police do not believe in black magic, the reason she is doing it is to install fear in you all, that is mental abuse right there and it is not legal to do this I think. Also what else would she be potentially able to do? If she is already into black magic to hurt you guys or just to threaten with it - that says a lot actually.

If she says something like its a joke or lighten up or what ever just state your case and say No I will not, and keep that light on the bully because that is what she is. You and anyone else has a right to be upset about this.

Also would just like to add (I know by now I am a pain in the...) that your narc-sis is crossing boundaries and so you guys have every right to react.

It is one thing if one asks to be protected and she is doing a pray or spell to protect you. You haven't asked. There ought to be principles, morals, the respect for the fellow being if when to practice anything. You're no guinea pig/s.

Her doing sneaky things or just saying she will is there to intimidate, scare you and make you all inferior to her. That is her aim, her goal, that is threatening and realization, emotional/mental abuse, not legal. Typical narc-way.

I am just writing this because unfortunately I know all too well the mental-fog you could be in when having been around one of these narcs too long.

If you guys do nothing, what it now may be of your choice to do, it is as if you are taking a step back and she can just smile to herself knowing just like any bully out there that she has now succeeded taking yet another step/crossing boundaries - and you guys are weaker and fine with that. She won't stop there. She will only wait for a while so you will not see the correlation between the events and her behavior. She will then try to make you take another step back when she makes her next step, crossing boundaries. This is how they do it, this is how they play. I am guessing your narc-sis is no bodybuilder or stand in any way physically superior to you and so then the physical part is something you can disregard. I know they can be very unpleasant, have unpleasant stare to them that can be intimidating.

So you have to reestablish your ground, boundaries, again and again and again (can be exhausting) even if you might think it is nothing or should not make a big deal out of it. It is important. But bottom line is truly this I think the best relationship with a narc is no relationship at all.