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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #31  
Old 25-05-2024, 05:20 PM
blackraven blackraven is offline
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ReturningMoon - I have seen friends come and go, mostly go, in my life. But the one constant, as dysfunctional, frustrating and stressful as they are, is my family. My best friend outside of my spouse is my little sister. I'm grateful to have someone that comes from the same family to talk to because she understands all the people in this odd group of folks.
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  #32  
Old Today, 02:48 PM
Louisa Louisa is offline
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I feel something somewhat similar. One of the few constants in my life has been my family. I think that if worst came to worst, then I could depend upon them for a few things, at least, if I was in dire straits or completely alone. So despite the fact that I can't be myself with them, and I don't relate to them, in many ways, I try to do what I can not to step on their toes too much and to maintain that connection.

I even harbor the hope of one day rekindling some kind of warmer, more human connection with them. Especially with the one or two who used to seem different, more relatable. Maybe they'd become more like their old self who used to understand me better. Or maybe I could discover whole new ways, to relate to them, and then others. Family would probably be less quick to completely ignore me because I'm unusual. My gestures of attempted kindness might be less likely to be brushed off.

They'd never completely reject and abandon me, unlike "the world". I could've burnt my bridges, but now I wouldn't anymore. How much this forced kindness and passive-aggressive connection is worth is questionable. But, for me, I have an impossible time making any lasting friends at all, and I really need some kind of social interaction beyond what I find elsewhere. I keep in touch, because they're my last resort, or, maybe even a untapped source of kindness and love, in some as-yet undiscovered way.
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  #33  
Old Today, 06:11 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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I was a social worker in New York and in Denver, Colorado, working in child protection, so I saw the seedy side of dysfunctional families, which may have skewed my perspective on families. I saw more unhealthy families than I did healthy families, but my job as a licensed social worker was not about working with healthy families.

I had kids in my custody who had been sexually abused, emotionally abused, and physically abused, some were going through all of those while others were abandoned and living on the streets. I worked with kids as young as five years old. The one thing I found was that most of these kids still loved their parents even though they were abused by their parents.

Today, we have our family of origin, but we also have extended families, step-families, blended-families, adopted family, etc. Some kids live with their grandparents or an uncle and aunt instead of their birth parents. In my opinion family is a feeling, a connection which we have with people. A person grows up and creates their own family, which usually involves marriage and them having children.

The family unit is the basic unit of any society; the African saying “it takes a village to raise a child” involved more than just a tight family unit. As a former social worker we had two umbrella concepts for raising children who were in our care, one was to nurture that child and the other was to set limits. We had a saying, “children do not have to behave to be loved but they must be loved in order for them to behave.”
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