Do people get what they deserve in life?

[Native spirit]

Everything is Energy your souls path is unique only to yourself.
There is also a cause and affect in play here to,
or in other words Karma



Namaste

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Louisa

And being able to just let go of what others want, expect or believe. Well, it can work, unless you truly need and can't do without someone's help. Then you might have to meet them halfway (or even more than halfway), to communicate and work together, to have a relationship, etc.

i think what i've found is i really can't, or won't maybe? Try to do completely without others.

there was a story about that once, in one of the things to fix our problems/and/or show us something they took a person away from all other people and tried to correct the problem we are all stuck with, that keeps us in this awful mess. maybe in support of the theorty that if that could happen then they could take what they learned and apply it to everyone else too? But it was like taking a flower out of the sun and not giving it water. He withered and died.

I've been thinking lately, there is a lot of talk about being independent, holding my own weight, etc... but a lot of the time even when I talk of such things I am trying to get others buy in on looking at me that way... on the theory they will treat me favorably instead of dissing me???

As with so many of the paradoxes I didn't used to see that immediately takes me in the opposite direction, away from any semblance of independence; I'm back to asking for support. I simply want to call it something other than what it is, perhaps in a fit of vanity?

anyway stoic indepence and getting my own way at any cost doesn't suit me personally so well. Never did and I desparately wish I hadn't let others talk me into doing that and many other awful things I want no part of.

But ot is like you hinted: relationships take relating, not one-sided demands... lol...

[Louisa]

I guess I don't feel I can very easily do without others, or really, not at all, as far as I know. But I think I've found a way to just relate to only one other human - and other than that, books, online (reading but not conversing), my imagination/visions, and God. Before long, I'll go back to that and leave this forum again, much as I might miss it. I feel it's the best I can do for now, to heal my life so that I can just ensure my survival in the long run with all my life challenges. And this interacting on the forum is just a short break from that. Otherwise, sure, I might like to interact, to give, to be more a part of the greater humanity. We are social beings and need social interaction, and it does require speaking some kind of similar language, and a give and take of what others want or expect, for them to want to keep on relating to you.

I guess this could be seen as what I get in this life, at this stage of my life, and is it what I deserve? I'm happy with it even though I once wanted to feel I made a bigger ripple and contribution. But the repercussions of small actions might make bigger ripples than the things people usually think are bigger and more important. And I don't feel I can do more, better, than this that I'm doing. Before I didn't felt so able to thrive being so alone, so I clung and immersed in social input, vicariously even. I suffered more and had less to give. I now give to fewer people, but I feel I really hit home and help those few (including myself).

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Louisa

But the repercussions of small actions might make bigger ripples than the things people usually think are bigger and more important.

this is very true.... much of the 'bigger' and 'more important' stuff is chosen by rote, because it is along the same lines as what has always been done... or it is done to impress others and gain accolades... im coming to believe that the people who aren't doing everything by rote just based on the known things you can get by doing things that way have a bigger long-term impact on things lol..... even though conventional wisdom says that exactly the opposite is true. Well god had his words about the activities of the people looking foolish to him lol!

anyway personally i finally got to the point where it is more painful to avoid pain than it is to just live with it... honestly if i had an out I might take it but I don't really see that happening, so it is just a matter of living this out however I want to lol...

[Louisa]

Yeah, it does seem like a lot of the "big" and "important" stuff is indeed often chosen by rote. As if we're too scared to do something so big that is outside the predictable, accepted norms, because then maybe our whole lives are unacceptable in others' eyes. Yet, for some, they have no other choice and can survive in no other way than outside the norms. Interesting idea about how those who aren't doing everything by rote or the known things may have a bigger long-term impact. Maybe so, yeah, even if it's just at a micro-level. That is empowering to realize, and I can see it often. Not that every way of going against norms is good, but in many cases it is educational, creative, even revolutionary, even if it's in small ways that are bigger than they seem.

I don't' try to avoid the pain either, except to survive. It's really about survival truly, some pain might break your mind, soul, body, entirely. Me too, it's more painful these days to avoid the pain than to feel it. In the past I couldn't even bear to feel it but I've learned ways to sit with it, or often, walk, play, create, pray, and do daily chores, read books, whatever it is, alongside it. Days and weeks of my life are spent just self-regulating my emotions almost all day. And yet it's beautiful, to me, somehow, and strangely. Pain can highlight truth, values and goodness and beauty and pleasure. Each good thing stands in high contrast to the sludge and pain of the rest of it. Feels "undeserved", like God's grace.

[Altair]

I think much or all is ''up for grabs'', meaning there's no predestined plan. There have been decisions I've made where I was convinced I was meant to make them, but rubbish, it ended up I did better with something else. Studies, jobs, buying stuff. You're in this world, things are thrown at you and you have to learn how to cope and handle it. It's not about getting what you deserve, this seems to rest on the illusion of time, instead it's about how you handle things in the moment. Of course, this is just my view.