Avoiding Other's Judgments

[Louisa]

I guess, for me it's a combination of trying to understand where people are coming from, and then attempting to interact with them or not, depending on whether I feel we each have something very useful to offer each other. But sometimes that leads to me shutting too many people out of my life, and then I'm lonely, so I must be careful on that level.

If I choose to interact, I often like to try to address people from the point of view they hold - if I hope to change their point of view, I might try to demonstrate somehow a way they could possibly be happier or have better results if they had a different view - by challenging their views. By dressing in unconventional ways, or saying goofy things, maybe being more open or more casual and light-hearted, or more morally relativistic or what have you, than they are comfortable with. Maybe neglecting some etiquette that they seem to be burdened and restricted by, instead of helped and uplifted by.

Or I might choose to just conform to their expectations and meet them on the level of what we already have in common, because sometimes me trying to change their minds is not helpful to either me or them, or is just impossible anyway.

And whatever I try to do, I try not to be too pushy, just exercise my own free expression within reason and in a creative way, but not to push my views too much or hurt anyone. In the end, I let them choose their own view - anyway it was always their choice and I am well aware that there is only so much one can do to change others, especially if they're not open to other's ideas - but you never know when it will work and someone will open their minds to a new idea or way of behaving.

[Belle]

Louisa you sound like an extremely sensitive person which is a different role to play in life.

Don't hope to change people to your way of thinking, it's a waste of energy - offer your views and if they resonate with you that's great and if not - then that's fine as well.

Try to find your centre and hold it - in that way you are presenting your true self to others which will ease the loneliness. It's a very difficult thing to be sensitive and empathetic as you are trying to navigate through a lot of different energies.

Indeed meet people where they are at, but keep yourself strong.

Interesting subject, this happened to me very recently, I was shocked the way one of my neighbour had judged me, it left me wounded, as I was contemplating on that, I also understood what made her think that way and It helped me to understand what I can work on...but you know its not always easy.........

[Louisa]

Yeah, it is a fine line for me where to set my boundaries. I'd rather err on the side of being over-inclusive and accepting being used and judged than to be overly isolated. I still need people and love is love, however imperfectly it is sometimes understood or expressed.