A Conversation With My Counsellor

[Akira]

Hey Necromancer
So I have read your posts and the one about your children.. This is a tough experience I grant you. Remember that love has many forms and can put us through unbelievable tests. My heart goes out to you as I know this is a tough test. Yet, you are strong deep inside I can see that. Your life is important regardless of this abandonment that you have experienced. When you are ready to put this to one side and give yourself permission to have a life then you can.. It's up to you when you do it, I was thinking maybe when you are truly ready a Hypnotherapist might be the way to go.

Take care on this journey and believe that from where there is pain comes the path of ultimate discovery of the self.

Believe me, you can do this, you can be who you are as soon as you are ready. Doesn't really even have to be much, will just be right for you.

Thank you for sharing this with us, your posts are a meditation on life. I adore your honesty ...
Take care

[running]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

It's like my whole consciousness and awareness exists in a separate dimension to this world, even though I physically exist in it. It's like I see this whole existence through the lens of falsehood...untruth...mithya.

I have tried interacting with other humans before, but nothing I have said or done has made any difference to anything whatsoever...nothing ever changes as a result of my interaction with matter.

The only way humanity acknowledges my existence is if I owe them money.

I gave up trying to interact and relate to other people years ago, when everything I tried didn't work - I just couldn't 'connect' with anybody, so I just pulled the plug.

Now I want to try...to learn...I am profoundly autistic...

Any idea how difficult it is?

During the steep grade i went up during my awakening i can relate in ways. I dont know anything to contrmplate that is of help. Not that there is or isnt something. I just dont know.

Something needs releasing i think. Do you have somebody whom helps you along in some kinda energy transfer. I was on the edge for some time. I had the non dual bliss going on but something was still holding me back. I got go meditating with a guru and it melted and dissolved. So thats why i mention.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by running

During the steep grade i went up during my awakening i can relate in ways. I dont know anything to contrmplate that is of help. Not that there is or isnt something. I just dont know.

Something needs releasing i think. Do you have somebody whom helps you along in some kinda energy transfer. I was on the edge for some time. I had the non dual bliss going on but something was still holding me back. I got go meditating with a guru and it melted and dissolved. So thats why i mention.

Yes, something definitely needs releasing here that goes way beyond the physical (tried and failed there).

I have nobody I can give all this energy to, so I am just pouring it out all over SF and still that's not having much of an effect, even though it takes the edge off a bit.

I was thinking about doing some Tai Chi or something...or something. lol

Yeah, that non-dual bliss thing, which can either be dual or non-dual according to my perspective at the time...yeah, that thing!

I also don't do the 'guru thing'...I just have a thing about 'gurus'...

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Akira

Hey Necromancer
So I have read your posts and the one about your children.. This is a tough experience I grant you. Remember that love has many forms and can put us through unbelievable tests. My heart goes out to you as I know this is a tough test. Yet, you are strong deep inside I can see that. Your life is important regardless of this abandonment that you have experienced. When you are ready to put this to one side and give yourself permission to have a life then you can.. It's up to you when you do it, I was thinking maybe when you are truly ready a Hypnotherapist might be the way to go.

Take care on this journey and believe that from where there is pain comes the path of ultimate discovery of the self.

Believe me, you can do this, you can be who you are as soon as you are ready. Doesn't really even have to be much, will just be right for you.

Thank you for sharing this with us, your posts are a meditation on life. I adore your honesty ...
Take care

Thank you so much for your kind words!

Yes...hypnotherapy!!! yes! that may just be the answer here...or rebirthing!

...and that whole 'giving myself permission' thing struck a chord too. Thank you!

[running]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Yes, something definitely needs releasing here that goes way beyond the physical (tried and failed there).

I have nobody I can give all this energy to, so I am just pouring it out all over SF and still that's not having much of an effect, even though it takes the edge off a bit.

I was thinking about doing some Tai Chi or something...or something. lol

Yeah, that non-dual bliss thing, which can either be dual or non-dual according to my perspective at the time...yeah, that thing!

I also don't do the 'guru thing'...I just have a thing about 'gurus'...

Yeah. I understand. I have some of that to. Or maybe i like doing a lot myself. But i guess not as much as you cause i have gotten a lot of help. But the first two made me wonder. Cultural differences and what not. The next two i came across made up for it in a wonderful way. Lol. Do what makes you happy and good luck!