Hi Lostsoul13, thank you for your sympathy and advice :)
When it comes to myself, defending myself - I don't do a good job. First of all I don't get angry, I don't know why, I get sad, insecure, hurt. It can be afterwards when I get angry, when it's no use, too late.
yes, it is the troubles with the narcissist for a parent-in-law...
I know a part of my luv, that has told me to not let anything the narcissist says or does get to me, that he will take care of this - but even as he now gets angry - I think, with the advice given to me here on this forum- it is up to me now, that I have to find another way to respond to get it to back off.
It is as if the narcissist can not help but push and push...and a situation such as this. It wants drama and drama it shall have then. It's all so dumb. Can't believe I'm in this situation, and because of what? Nothing. Really - nothing. The narcissist has nothing on me to dislike me like that.
And then I worry what that will do to my luv, even if he has said - and he is totally with it, he has said you give everything you got, I won't stand in your way, I've got your back... but then I think about if, how he is going to maybe loose all contact with the other parent, and maybe other family members, who knows, because of me, even if I know it's not because of me, it is a reaction that is more than justified given how I've been treated all this time.
I just don't want him to suffer, I know he loves his family too. this is just unfair on him. Will we stand there - and I still have my family - and he will be without? What that will do to him? (God I feel so sorry for him!)
I believe this family is as isolated as it is because of the superior-attitude, it's sad really, it shouldn't be like that.
But I know, I know - I have to separate us - it is the only way. Still stay together, but somehow - separate this other part of his life so it won't be too much for me to handle.
Maybe this all happened too soon, maybe I was too early thrown back into this situation after us getting back together, it's too early, and I can't seem to separate my old self from who I felt like during, after the break up - "she" was tougher than I am, LOL.
I will try to think like you do, yes, hopefully, that will do the trick :)
Last edited by asearcher : 23-01-2022 at 09:46 PM.