contentest, Im interested in what it was that you expierenced, where they in any way visual phenomena or just kinda empthic or auditory in nature?

Sometimes i love visiting the forum for its extremely beneficial postive outlooks, although some responces I find to be rather nebulous and thought provoking. I hate the fact that people can jugde something as beautifully complex as being an individual with the power that we have in this realm of existence, being that we are alive, are intelligent, and have the freedom to choose. That being said we choose to put energy into that which will make us happiest, comfortable, stable, take you pick or add your own beacuse it doesnt matter. What one percieves as truly happy and/or etc etc could be either very similar in one way and very differtent in another. I find some of the happiest moments of my life are when I have truly connected with someone on an emotional and intellectual level. That being said i endevour to find ways to communicate with anyone I come across. And thats not to say that I am not jaded and absolutly livid that I didnt come out of the chute compleatly aware of the power of my own mind, the fact that time isnt linear, and psi abilities where for crackpots and crazy folk. My parents told me once that if my life where a canvas that all they could supply where tools to cope with (or paint) my own life, whether or not they knew much more than what they shared with me, on the whole I dont think, that after emerging from a drug and hormonal stupor and hearing a rather loud crack, I turned out too bad. However when I simply let my memories guide me through some of my guilt and my delusions, it became increasingly obvious that my perceptions of things as hard to grapple with as time and how it works, the power of energy both internal and external, and the power of overwhelming fear that your public enemy number one (which is very dramtic seeing as Im in the comfort of my own room and that I have had no one go out of their way to make me believe that fact it is something I choose to believe :) And what I have found is that despite my own feelings, perceptions, values and beliefs that there is someting to be learned, or at least be reminded of, from just about any one you meet. I have had some trouble peeling away the layers of my mental illness and the reconstruction of "reality" and all the while trying to have a little more fun before I kick the bucket. I searched the forum for any thing concerning sucide, and in the last month alone there are dozens of threads and more to the point the ones in the past few days have really caught my attention. This isnt some sob story, on the whole its fairly vague, nebulous, and lacks detail. I found it extremly hard to concentrate when I first found the forum, and my paranoia and fear held the better parts of my reasoning through most of what what I think Im expierencing to this day. For now I will try to mind my own bussiness, be safe and cooperative and just ignore the things I dont have control over. I would be fairly interested to get other peoples opinion and thoughts.

P.S. In my honest opinion Bob/ username TzuLi (I know I butchered that) is a total bada** . I think the way he chooses words to describe his thoughts and opinions really brings together existence in our human form, as he most eloquently put in a post once, as a whole. Excellent communicater and a wounderful teacher. I am sorry to put him on the spot like this especially since everyone here has so very much to offer.