Aelfwynn, when it comes to pagan beliefs/lifestyles, you will learn nothing of value from books except other people's opinions. You will only "learn" by direct experience of total immersion in Nature. So, how to do that ? Easy way - become a Volunteer in one of the many conservation groups in your area [get some soil under your fingernails
]. Hard way [my way] - wandering the wilder places in your land [sleeping rough and solitary, overnight vigils in places of spiritual power/places which are "special" to you]
Naddread had the right of it !
Finally STAY AWAY FROM RELIGIONS !