Hi! Oh, yes absolutely yours have been helpful too. yes, domineering but I am thinking a man of his time and religion, taught to be this way was one part of it. Cant be good to be that introvert. I don't wish to insult the man but I got with the domineering kind a narcissistic trade, not saying he was one 100% but he was somewhere on the ladder, where I should draw a line is unknown. I too know when one is suffering one can be selfish, perhaps without meaning to be so. In this current life if he needed help with something and I could offer that in an instant I had no trouble doing so but there were times when I was busy and couldn't and that was when I saw that streak in him go off. Think it could come when he is stressed out, that particular energy that I am vulnerable too. In the past life he had a sharp mind, I feel, and it made me feel inferior. He was too older. I think I was in awe of his mind so as a young woman I did not say so much in return, hoping he would not know how stupid I really was. One of the things could be the different set of background and that men received more education, if priviligued, and then the Jewish aspect of it as to treasure education. When I came to know him just a little bit in this life it was one of the first things that striked me - the sharp mind. Could have been he was "over"developed in those areas of the brain and "under"developed or not allowed to talk so much about feelings. I think it was a taken concept in those days that girls ,women were allowed to be "hysterical" as the male, sitting on t he throne really on certain power (but powerless in other ways) could not maybe always relate to what it was like to be down under.

It has taken me a long time to process the past life memories and I often am skeptic of it afterwards, not while in it, then I just accept it. This why I search for evidence. Then again the best reincarnation proof out there I think is with children because they can't have that much knowings. I often wish to interpret what I have experienced for it to make sense and while doing so I can misjudge the situation so I have to be careful not to do that. My most spontanous and unsettled past life memories was from my most recent one. Til this day if I see a boy in a school uniform, the traditional kind, I'm back in an instant with that feeling. When I did locate my past life self I was right about the children and the private schools, the dress codes.

I have thought if his spirit was perhaps not reborn like mine was all that time, but that why it was so unfinished for him - still having that bad energy - was because this current life was his next one?? As there is no time on the other side and if he was dominated by the dark energy he had perhaps he was on the lower dimensions before seeing the light and before being reborn again. I'm just speculating, big time, LOL.

I don't know if you two are the same generation or could it be you were not born yet when he had his school crush? Just speculating if you were then still in spirit? My daugheters has been giving her dad headaches (LOL) with her stories of the things and the people she saw and knew before she was born. She would say things even I had no idea as I had been excluded from those family events on his side. I did not know what to answer and said you have to go to your dad about this. With all the stuff she has said I suspect her spirit has been around us for some time before rebirth. She has been particular stuck about her seeing, knowing an elderly distant relative of her dads that nobody talked about. Her dad was so skeptic he would ask around who could have given her this information, but no answers. It was about her passing too. My daughter went to say she knew because she knew when she was passing over and she was there and that they, together, were at the funeral too. It began when she was so young, just one day exclaiming "Why don't you ever talk about ..:" and went on to describe the elder lady's looks, then she went on to say she was very nice and "I miss her". Her dad went "You weren't even born to miss her", which was a comment he shouldnt have made. There were no photographs of her to have seen hanged up or anything. These days when something comes up, spiritual, paranormal, she has it in her to say to her dad "Yeah, yeah, it isn't easy for you Dad now is it" and she takes her little hand above his as if tapping on it. Remains a mystery, LOL.

I think it is so awesome really that you have the ability to see someone else's memories like that, I have to say. Of course I understand it is a grief of yours to have it, but it is still a gift and hopefully in time you will be able to figure it out more, how to use it, what it means. What a coincidence you too have the same feelings, experiences as I do- it's really something.

I wonder if you are empathic, much? that could be why he is taking over as much, if you have not learned to back yourself up more? I am working on a problem I have which is that I am "overly" empathic but not looking out for myself, but looking out for others, that is when I stand up, that is when I get strong. to just mention one classical thing is when my child's dad's family were in the habit of excluding me, then I did not tell him how it made me feel that he just accepted that. I too knew they were all for placing children as in appropriate times to be with and suddenly they were not appropriate while I have had an upbringing and attitude that the children are always appropriate to have around us. I would be excluded from events, travels abroad then because it was then convinient that I would have the children, was one excuse, the other was that they just wanted the closest blood line there or what ever, and so he would go with his first family somewhere. I never said anything about it as I have never been the type really in past relationships as well, I don't tell them - this is how this makes me feel. I wanted him to find out for himself, how it made HIM feel accepting this structure, going along with it, and then returning home to us. I could see the conflict in him, the pain, even the shame when he did come home but I greeted him as I would normally do. I guess at some poiint I thought he would stand up and say I don't have a good feeling about this, I can't do this no more, it doesn't feel right, I don't feel that I present myself in the way I want to as a man and dad. Me and my family continued to do things our way and would with our way let him know he was always welcomed, under any conditions. the bottom line with him was that he did not stand up for himself and so how could I have expected him to stand up for us? It made us all vulnerable. Only that is how it has aalways been with me, I stand up for others and I dont care what trouble it puts me in. But I had to learn to say this is me in this situation, this is how I feel about it and just declare that in the open, so he would know. When I did speak up I did so because I could see that my daughter's version, her feelings, were being smashed down by someone from his family and I wasnt having that. That was when I declared she has a right to her feelings, to her truth in this and the right to be respected for it, that there are more perspective than theirs. Theirs is not the ultimate truth, the only perspective worth respect. There are actual other people involved who deserve just as much respect as they do. But it had to take to that - that I realised my daughter is aware of this and is reacting to something that is not healthy for her. I had ignored my own feelings about it. That was a wake up call. If I am that self sacrifising then it is going on further to my own daughter. I have to look out for myself too. I'm thinking maybe if you are empathic on a scale like mine that is too the fear when you feel his memories take over much. That you have to go to that place inside yourself where you feel your emotions and declare them, to help empower you?

One thing I have began to do is the day after the dream that I close my eyes. I imagine feeling him that is feeling his inner self, the essence of him. I pictured myself running through and all the layers that were in the way, such as that inbedded anger were removed. Then I could feel him. The essence. And that boy/man/spirit is the core of him, I think. They all have different. It's all good. The negativity has attached itself but is not part of the real spirit and can be rid off, like clouds around someone which can make it difficult to see the real person, but it's still there. It makes me think he's safe. That all this will be a passing. Gives you a good feeling.

It could be that intense emotions like grief, anger, fear they built this bridge that is not good for us when we have this kind of connection.

It has given me a sense of peace when I do that, when I go to the core. Then I let go. I open my eyes. And everything feels alright. You could try it? To see if things lighten up more?