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he guesses
there is nothing
he can do
at this point
other
than to consider
himself chastised....
not that he wasn't feeling that way
all along
just no point
in fighting mean people
any more.
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he is kinda sad
because
he can't just have the twin
and
he can't just end it with the twin
so he doesn't know
a 'certain'
way to relate.
he only knows that
same ole same ole
he is tired
of her
always hurting him
and he doesn't want that
any more
than he ever did before.
he only hopes
when it is time
*again*
he is able to do something
he really should
know how to do by now
and
not value her so dang much
but it doesn't make much sense
to go trying to relate that way
either
because
she has a way
of denying his every want
and regardless
he'll just be back
to more pain.
might as well just put it off
into the future
while that is possible
maybe some distance
somehow
will help...
well it isn't like
anything else is going to work
either...
he is gonna end up hurting
no matter what
so why not choose
that kind of hurt
this time?
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in other news
someone
gave him
a new feeling
that he'd never felt
kind of a sad comfort
without all the distance
it was kinda nice.
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