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Old 07-01-2022, 03:57 PM
asearcher asearcher is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 1,900
 
when you discuss are you up in a flow when you do, eager, and then someone comes and stop your flow and just take little chews of what you just said and turn it against you? and then you "get upset" (or well you really don't they ones that has gotten to you just wants you to come off that way) and try, again to explain your point, but is met by suspiscioun and that classic yeah right attitude? The looks shared between one woman and the next. Oh, if you caught one of those, something's up.

could be too something you have somehow missed being a guy, and that is when you put lots of women together, well how should i put it? They kind of gang up together, talk behind your back, hold a grudge forever, make life more complicated than it needs to be? guys are often more up front, direct, have their dispute open and then it is over. I am only speaking of my own experiences about this. Women can hold it way longer than guys can. Somehow I don't think your pride is the question here.

I think too they kind of want to know your role, why you're there, what your goal is? is it really just friendship or more? and if more than who are you into? just so you are not playing the field? those kinds of thoughts?

just throwing in some ideas here, I'm guessing your agenda is what is unclear, and I kind of think it is unclear to you too, you're just testing the waters, but if you are a one guy doing this and there are several women in the group...well...Good luck is all I have to say, not saying you are doing anything wrong, I don't think you are, you know, it is jsut...well you know, the above reasons, there's where it can turn out wrong. I hope I don't make this even more confusing as it already is? i just think you have to be very obvious with what you want and who you are into, if they can just smell that you are into more than one of them - then you are not for either of them, then they are just thinking about how to get you out, bascially, if they are strong women, if they however have low self esteem and are not very bright they might confront each other (that is 2 women or more) but I am guessing you are in a crowd of women who are not like that. You are getting nervous - because you should be. That's how they want you to feel, maybe not the bunch of them, but 2 is enough. I've had boys, men that are friends all my life and am used to both scenarious. I sometimes have discovered that I am the only woman left at the table with a bunch of guys as we are discussing things and for some reason the women that use to be there have left and are doing something else. But as the guys are always clear on who I am and what I am up to I certainly don't get nervous and they don't make me nervous, and I never get hit on at those sort of atmospheres, discussions taking place. I am one of those who fall in love rarely and normally see guys as friends or brothers, it is if I was to have a romantic connection with a guy that I get super nervous and shy and awkward. I always had female friends who wanted to come over just so they could check in the guys in my home, first family etc, and I never looked at them like that. So again I am thinking you gotta state your case, make sure they know why you are there ,and if you are into someone, please be just into that someone, not more than one. I'm getting nervous just thinking about you caught in this situation, and don't know what you're doing wrong, I can't help it! Like yaks.

I think you must have missed some social code or something. Just state it to them and I think you'll be fine, but you won't be fine if you are into more than one romantically. That is unless the women are braindead. If they are not - then you are coming off as a player and unattractive. If you only knew, well perhaps you do know, how fast women knows a guy is hitting on more than one woman at a party. Wouldn't touch him wouldn't want to go near him, just see him as a joke then, yes we do smile and we do talk to such a person but we don't fall for it, we know. He of course does not know - that we know (...and evil laugh followed). I guess that is what I am trying to say. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings. You asked of advice so here it is. If I have misread your words and situation - Sorry. I'm doing my best here.

Best of luck :)
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