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They prescribed me medication but I can no longer take it because I was developing swollen lymph nodes and I also don't want to take it anymore because I feel much better without it. I feel like I don't need it and it made me sleep all day long and I couldn't get anything done. I also can't afford it. I have been having trouble finding a doctor that can prescribe it to me anyway because I am on medicaid.
I am confused about my diagnosis and why they diagnosed me because I was talking to them and having normal conversations with them and engaging and responding to them and didn't stop hearing voices, and I was being rational, logical, and speaking like everyone else does.I was aware of what was happening. It left me in confusion and wondering what was going through their minds when they came up with that. It didn't seem like they listened.
I did tell them I saw shadows and heard voices and then I told them I heard voices that wanted to kill me. I also told them that people were bullying me and attacking me wherever I go, and they thought it was because of schizophrenia when it really happened, and they weren't there so how do they know. But that was about it and I didn't give them much to go off of.
It felt like they were really ignorant and didn't know what they were doing, and they were really unprofessional because they didn't even care and it felt like it took them 2 seconds to diagnose me and I think that is a lot of red flags. It seems like they diagnose anyone with schizophrenia there without a second thought.
Then I began to think they were lying to me. I don't trust them or their diagnosis and that is why I went into shock and I had a panic attack right there when they said it but then later discovered it wasn't the right fit and I thought it might just be something else.
Ok, I read through what you wrote and believe I have Clairaudience, Clairsentience, Clairalience, Clairgustance, and Claircognizance. I read through what you wrote down about each of them and it seems like those are what I have the most. I think they are all balanced out and I don't believe I have one more than the other.
I noticed that my thoughts don't come from me and it comes from something else. Like another source. They were bad thoughts. I don't know why I got those thoughts and it comes out of nowhere like the panic attacks I have been having lately. The bad thoughts will go away when I listen to certain music.
I will work harder to protect myself from evil and will be more careful with my thoughts.
It makes sense what you said about spirits bullying you because I think spirits want to bully me too and I feel like there are some people, the spirits take control of, I mean that is why I feel like the spirits are like following me because they come through people and that is why I feel the people and the spirits are connected and that is why I experience so much bullying. And that is why I felt like people were attacking me everywhere I go.
There have been a lot of bad people out there doing evil stuff to me and it was hard to get away from them but most of them are gone but I keep finding more evil people. No matter where I go, people want to bully me and make fun of me and it feels like it is a never ending vicious cycle. They don't start to do evil things to me until later, and then they do it out of nowhere.
I used to feel things on my bed but that went away. It would happen as I was sleeping. Then I felt things climbing on me and coming into bed with me. It went away when I took the medication. But now I am off it. I still don't have the same symptoms as before. I think the spirits went away because I think it I left where I lived for a while and the medication made it easier to ignore them because I wasn't focused on it as much and that made them leave. The stuff I have been experiencing has diminished greatly.
I don't bother with those EVP's as much. A lot of the ghosts that were on that EVP are gone. I am glad. I am still not sure why they were there in the first place.
I will check out the links you gave me. I feel much better now that I told you about these things I needed to get it off my chest.
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