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Originally Posted by ForeverRestless
What’s harder is accepting that for me it was profoundly life altering and special and for him it was just a blip on a more complex journey with possibly bigger adventures on the road ahead for him. I passed through his life like a comet, and then he was able to watch me go—however brilliant my tail shone.
Can I grow to be happy in my life knowing I’ll never again have what I had with him? I do not know, but I will try. I am finally, for the first time in years, focusing on my health.
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So good to hear from you again, ForeverRestless, and to cross paths with you again on this journey. I'm struck here that you tell yourself that it was just a blip for him and that he has moved on. If you tell this to yourself because you think you know what he is going through based on what you see on social media, remember that twins can compartmentalize this journey and present a false facade to the world, especially through social media. So if contact with him that way can still send you into a tailspin (I am exaggerating with that word, I mean if this contact triggers you in ways that don't feel like it helps you grow), perhaps it can help you to remove yourself from that environment. Maybe it means not logging into the platform yourself for long periods of time, like six months. Especially if you feel compelled to focus on yourself and your health, then closing down the portal with him could help. He will always be there when you are ready to reconnect. As you say so well, love always comes back. But the "comes back" is an illusion, for in fact, it is like electricity. It is always in the room. We just need to turn off the lights ourselves some times. I have no doubt at all how much your twin loves you.