You're welcome, they say we grow through pain, balance between "good and evil". That has me before wondered who is really good then, if God is now on the Good side and we before reincarnation gets to decide what difficulties to go through or who to help go through something, then is pain good? But if it is done in another way then it is evil? Kinda confusing, to me. Perhaps it is the healing, that is good, where we have a choice to do good or bad and we then do good once we healed? And then we can help others?

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I have learned most of the troubles I've had with my husband when we have fought etc is not of course that he was on the autism spectrum, that being the source behind it, but because of his attachment style. To me this push (pushing me away) to then (desperately) try to pull me back in, him creating a barometer. I got too close, that was the problem. He was not used to that. Did not feel safe. He wanted to keep our relationship where it felt safe but then a part of him wanted to come closer, wanted me closer. When I would ask him why he was behaving the way he was he would back then say he didn't know and he wanted to stop but he couldn't. He had not been like that in his previous love life. I've been the trigger and I still feel grief about that, about everything.