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Originally Posted by russianpast_1904
Hello again Asearcher! I couldn't agree more with all that you have said here! I know I don't look 100% the same as Alexei, but there are some similarities. I have birthmarks in certain areas which correspond with the memories/flash backs I have of the night Alexei and his family died. I also am hard-of-hearing (not majorly so, but I have to have people repeat things once or twice, maybe three times) in my right ear. I also would get terrible ear infections as a kid - that could be why haha. But Alexei was shot just behind his ear and despite that, it didn't kill him. I have memories of (as I mentioned I think?) being in the bed of the truck that had been outside waiting in the courtyard. I think I'm so tethered to that life (if it was mine), because of how it ended. It was so abrupt and didn't end quickly. It was drawn out. It was brutal and very, very painful. But the things that override that are images, the flashbacks of the girls, Mama and Papa, and our servants and Dr. Botkin dying. How it all happened.
Anyways, I should stop talking about that. The anniversary passed (102 years) so I'm going to try and focus on other things. Happier things. It's hard though, I'll admit what with a pandemic happening all over the World. This year has been nothing but trigger after trigger. I've talked to my girl-friend about it, other friends and some of my sisters. It's almost like a constant reminder of what it was like in Russia in 1917. How things were so uncertain. The Measles, which we had all been stricken with. One of my sisters (Alexei's) was tested positive for Covid-19 recently. She's doing a bit better, but goodness have I been worrying over and over. Praying, etc. She's eating again, which I'm so grateful to know that. She wasn't eating for a while. So there's that to contend with.
Now I'm veering so far off topic, forgive me dear!
Thanks for replying though and I'm glad you are okay!! Stay healthy! 
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hi sorry for the late reply I must have totally missed it. glad she is doing better. how did you two find each other? was it over internet or are you reincarnated together in the same family, friends etc? Only curious. of course you don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it.
i have for most of my search of my recent past life - when i finally found her children for real - tried to tell myself: please look - it is alright. they are alright. they made it.
then it was the question of how she died that has puzzled me but has now been letting it go. i don't suffer from the flashbacks anymore either like i use to.
i think i am in some strange way, or imagination, subcounsious way, still conntected to the past life ex husband and I have no idea why, to tell you the truth. he was really like a shadow (ok that does not sound nice, right) over her life, the divorce was difficult (he did not want it, really and i was to get all the blame and he etc would try to make me feel guilty but he did not need to, i felt guilty already), some years there were also difficult after the divorce and then it was as if finally we found back to each other as parents, friends. I can never remember what he says in my dreams either and one part of me thinks it could really be him (because I visit him, somehow, don't ask me how, i have no idea, when he had just died - and I did not then even know he had died - found that out later, did not even know he was sick, in some spirit realm) and another part of me thinks well perhaps it is only because she was so use to having him in her life that it is an echo of memories? he would often do most of the talking anyhow during their marriage and after.
i read of your latest nightmare - do you think it is a real life ghost or a friction of memories taking place?
please take good care too :)