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Thank you, Gem. That is certainly helpful advice. I would like to add to something to what you said about sorting out your external life, values, etc. in the context of meditation.
While I'm not suggesting that one should always take this approach, meditation can also be used as a tool to do the mentioned "sorting out of your external life." Since meditation naturally builds our awareness, we become much more acutely aware of the aspects of our life and mind that are blocking or holding back our inner peace and love. This awareness of the issues is itself a first great step to letting go of them.
We can further use meditation as a tool to explore the roots and truth of the thoughts and emotions that surround our issues and suffering. As we reveal and explore the truth of these blocks, we can begin to let them go. With this letting go, the mind naturally becomes more peaceful in meditation and life outside of meditation. Eventually, life itself becomes a meditation.
Another "do-it-yourself" method is to use stream of consciousness writing or spiritual journaling. This can be quite meditative, but it is done outside of a formal / traditional meditation practice. For this process, when we are feeling painful emotions, we write down the thoughts that arise from those emotions, and again sincerely explore their roots and validity. This is another way to help us let them go.
One other thing that can be of value to explore as we evolve with meditation is what is actually aware of the breath, thoughts, and emotions. Becoming aware of awareness itself can help us see that we are not the thoughts that cause suffering. When we see that there is something much more fundamental and powerful innately within us (i.e. our awareness) which is persistent no matter what situations, thoughts and emotions arise, this can help us to let go of them.
From the perspective of sorting out your life, if this do-it-yourself approach does not resonate, then certainly seeking psychological or spiritual help from others who are qualified can help to achieve the same goal.
As you seemed to describe, starting with the breath is very fundamental, helpful, and ideal as a starting point. I have personally experienced the process over the years (i.e. over the span of a given meditation, and as phases over the span of life) as starting with the breath, then self exploration and letting go, and then a shift to abiding in awareness - not always linearly, of course.
I hope this adds to the conversation in a useful way, and glad to clarify or elaborate if needed.
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