[MysticalShaman]

I was vegan for 10+ years. like turbo vegan.
like shopped in thrift stores and made my own mascara from spirulina and lived a raw vegan lifestyle vegan.

Veg for 2 more before that.

then i moved country, couch surfed ( beggars can't be choosers ) so i started eating whatever i was given. Started eating animal products through them as they food shared.

then got myself set up, have a home, a good job. getting here i just ate the free food i was given at work. then i got an office job and had ate what my partners family ate - as we lived together and they are full carnivores and think veganism is stupid.

during all this time, i stopped all my eco-habits. i didn't recycle. i didn't talk about veganism at all hardly. i just started to life life and enjoy life and all the experiences. and that was cool...

i felt so guilty. and yet i couldn't stop. and my hair was growing for the first time in my life despite taking hair vitamins all my life. ( and someone else told my, hair growth is a sign of spiritual alignment and being on the right path ... when obviously animal protein is obvs playing a big part too )

then after 2 years. one day i came home and my partner had watched those documentaries sea/cowspiracy and he - a person who rejected veganism - and proclaimed he was going to go full vegan.

so i was happy with that. I'd gained weight eating animal products, even though we ate pretty healthily, but my skin was bad. and my tummy and digestion was ****ed even though i drank so much water and ate healthy.

now back full vegan, my skin is clearing up so much nicer.
i do feel a lot better, but i am worried about getting proper nutrition and building muscle tone.
and i also feel "more me".

but i can't help but feel so guilt for all the animal products i used and ate over the last 2 years.