[crystalqueen]

Shortly after my recent post I hit a bit of a grey area in progressing, things were still happening but nothing new. However during the summer I really started working on myself, I released a lot of old wounds and dissolved emotional connections that were not benefiting me. However one of which no matter how hard I try to rid of it, just won't go.

I learned how to heal by using divine light and earthly energy, I took a method from a meditation I had done and I tweaked it to best work for me. I imagine myself floating up into the astral plain and I go to whomever I am healing. I say in my head "I ask for the divine light" and then I imagine I raise one of my hands and the white light comes from above and swirling around my arm until my aura is completely covered. Then I lower my other hand and say "and I also ask for the healing and nurturing energy from mother earth". A soothing brown/bronze light comes from below me and mixes with the divine light. When the two meet they create the most vibrant gold. It is so powerful and yet calming at the same time. I then focus this energy onto what I am trying to heal (chakra, physical, etc). I see blocked chakras and other ailments as a black scratchy mass that the light can dissolve.

I also spent lots of time just connecting with nature. Ever since I was young I always felt that different parts of nature had different spirits guarding them. One day I had said something extremely hurtful to someone I care about and the guilt was eating me up. I ended up laying under an ash tree that has resided on our farm since we got the property. I had remembered reading about elementals and that you could talk to trees. So I reached out to this tree and she spoke back and healed my hurting heart. The part that is so upsetting is that her physical form is slowly dying due to a disease in our region. I asked her if she wanted me to heal her but she told me not to as it would not be successful.

One of the things that really brought me into reality about what I am capable of was when I kept a very sick animal alive for some time. So backstory is that one of our pigs had a single piglet, that I started to bottle feed. Ever since day one I knew something was off, that she wasn't right. I stayed positive, but her condition was getting worse, even though she never showed it, I could feel it. It wasn't until I left for vacation with my mom, and my dad was left to care for her that everything went downhill. She died within two days of me leaving, and my dad had done everything he could for her. After her passing she came to me and told me that I had held her is a "stable" state but as soon as I left her body gave in. She told me she was five days premature and her organs were very messed up. She told me she it was insane how she made it a week let alone two. She is buried under the ash tree and I visit her often in the astral plain.