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I don't know anymore...I am just SO depressed on New Year's Eve, while everybody else is enjoying themselves...listening to music they all love, but I hate...eating food they all love, but I hate...talking about stuff they all love but I hate...how can I even PRETEND to have a good time? and yet, when I go away in quiet solitude, they tell me I am being "antisocial"...and so I say "you want me to be social? play just one song that I like...just ONE" and they are like "this is a PARTY and nobody likes 'your music' but everybody ELSE likes the music we are playing" and so I go "well I don't like it, so what do I do?" and they say "just PRETEND you like it just to make everybody ELSE very happy" and I go "even if doing that makes me totally miserable and suicidal?" and they go "exactly!"
They invite me, but make NO attempt to include me!
Apparently, they all can't pretend to be happy for just one song! =(
So they can all sod off...BIGTIME!
Now I know why I am a loner and an introvert...I cannot pretend to be happy and/or fake ANY emotion because I feel like an ingenuine hypocrite by doing so.
Parties are definitely OUT for me in future...TAKE HUGE NOTE TO SELF!
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