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Originally Posted by tealily
Ugh I feel like this week is going to be a repeat of last week. I am so DONE with things being high-octane. I want there to be nothing on my plate.
* RWS
Think about: 7 of Wands. Being assertive, getting things done, staying on top of things - being a fighter, not a quitter.
FT clarifier:9 of Coins rev. "I'm too busy for other people's s***! I've got my own s*** to handle!"
Do: 3 of Wands reversed. Staying put. Staying still. Keeping my ground. Seeing the bigger picture whilst not losing sight of where I am.
FT clarifier: 8 of Wands rev. "DO NOT DISTURB ME FROM MY FLIGHT PATH"
Challenge: The Fool reversed - either taking foolhardy steps/not thinking too much in advance about what I'm doing/where I'm going - OR not being afraid to take any risks at all. Clarifier: The Magician, which makes no sense to me because I'm too emotionally compromised.
FT clarifier: 6 of Coins rev. "KEEPING IT ALL TO MYSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH"
SP: 6 of Pentacles - (oooooh same card other way) - checks and balances. Is it worth it? Measure the cost vs benefit.
Ally: 9 of Swords reversed. HUH? Peak anxiety being an ally? (Unless it's that anxiety keeps me so fuelled that I need less sleep...?!)
FT clarifier: Death. "Waking up to the realisation that the end is coming one way or another - the only constant is change, and what's absolutely coming is an ending".
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You know what, all of this actually makes sense to me now, including that 9 of Swords reversed.
My boss asked one too many big favours of me last week. The backstory is that I'm leaving - which they've known about for months - and last month I finally hit the "okay, it's time". Private practice clinics always take it super-personally when you leave, so as a favour I offered to "discuss" suitable leaving dates which they were very happy about. And then proceeded to sidestep around for three and a half weeks, which is a half-week short of the actual period of notice I need to give to leave. Repeated excuses about how they ran out of time to talk - despite how it's obvious that since we are all constantly booked back-to-back, there has always been zero time to talk and conversations need to be scheduled in.
By this time I'm getting furious as heck, because they have every reason under the sun to not be able to discuss leave dates with me, but have no problems calling me to cover shifts for other coworkers. Last week hit peak mass when I was asked to cover a colleague's shift, to which I responded I had something on, but could reschedule it to another time I was working (ie "I can do that shift, but you'll need to let me start later on another shift"). Their response was that they'd "prefer" if none of my existing shifts would be affected, upon which I absolutely lost it. After that phone call I angry-cried for about 5 minutes, and somewhere in there I realised how unappreciated I was and just how badly my inner sense of boundaries had been compromised. I decided that since they couldn't make the time to "discuss" ideal leave dates, then I'd take the opportunity to discuss off the table entirely and make an executive decision about exactly when I would leave (Death). Which I did.
I don't love the way I had to be extremely assertive - a bit part of me is worried about the professional ramifications moving forward - but I legitimately needed things to wrap up, and given the time-sensitive nature of the conversations, didn't know how else to do it at the time (yes, it would have been better if I'd followed up more actively before hitting the three and a half week mark, but I don't know if that would have changed the outcome as I feel like stalling was a deliberate technique).
9 of Swords reversed - if I hadn't had completely broken down and angry cried, I wouldn't have recognised how deeply I felt wounded. I haven't reacted like that in a long long time, and I'm so glad I chose to honour and listen to those emotions because they became the catalyst for the actions I took :)