[Heightend-Awareness]

Originally Posted by ameliorate

That sounds like a good tactic if someone is amenable to reason, i.e. not totally lost it or is fairly obnoxious as a default setting - the difference between rude behaviour and rude people!

I think I might find it difficult to maintain a friendly disposition in the face of personal attacks...feels somewhat like giving a green light to sadistic behaviour if they are not won over. I won't stand for personal abuse - why should anyone tolerate this? Being assertive can show that you are not a pushover and may even gain their respect.

My way of dealing with rude behaviour is to quickly assess what's going on i.e. discern if someone is just letting off steam, may have misunderstood or if I'm up against someone who has an attitude problem (the latter being the hardest to reach some kind of civil exchange with.)

I look to understand the person/situation and make allowances for certain conditions e.g. anything that might cause them not to react in a normal fashion. People like to be understood and so, if they get that I'm doing this then it helps to defuse the situation.

I totally agree. Different situations require different tactics.