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I can feel your pain immensely, cause I feel the same...
My story is a little similar...
In my job, they assigned me in to a new project with all new exciting things to learn....
However, I have my father in the hospital, not knowing whether he is going to live or die...
Knowing that my mother may be alone at this time, stresses me greatly, let alone the fact that I may lose my father...
I still do not have a family yet and like you I think that I have failed in life because I also wanted children and everyone to be healthy and happy...
My father is fighting for his life and I try to mentally prepare myself for everything...
minutes are like hours and hours are like days...
I try to shake that eerie feeling that I will not have my parents physically with me, since as human beings we are so so accustomed to the tangible...
I guess feeling defeated is all part of a process of "re-inventing" ourselves...
or a sign that something ends and something else begins...
Strangely enough, your last "thank you" reply, was written on 11/11....
So... if you want a sign from the universe that things are going to be alright, then this is it...
Do not give up... all of us here do not... keep it strong, learn to love yourself... it is part of your awakening process...
Kind Regards
Crysta...
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