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Hi Mused, thanks.
Miss Hepburn, we were never in a relationship, we never dated, we were never physical. We spoke on a dating app for a bit, & than by text. We had major longing's & pulls to one another. We had the runner chaser dynamic hard core. A few months ago is when it was brought to my attention that he is a divine union (a twin soul), I didn't believe in it, nor knew anything about it. I started researching it.
I felt him in my minds eye last March...I did not think anything of it, as I've felt one other like this before, but that person I worked with for almost a year. I run from people, especially men. I was told he was a soul mate, but I couldn't come together with him. There was a cord that was cut than because I couldn't handle that pain. I never felt it before. This cord with this man was cut in a couple of days or so.
Than in late July it happened again, I felt him, the TF. In Sept/Oct I would wake up to him, it was the first thought I had upon waking. Than the dreams started coming. Maybe it was nothing. I would pray to ask to see him physically, & every 2 days later it would happen. Driving by, that happened a lot.
I had severe longing for him after we met the first time. I didn't know why than. That was odd. A month later we were able to come back together, & we were going to set up a date, I ran from it, but he also never called, & I swear I passed him the day were supposed to get together on the highway in another city 5.5 hours away, so you could say, he just wasn't that interested.
This continued by random readers, & by one Psychic, everything she's ever predicted has come to pass,even what happened two days ago with him.
If I'd stayed, we'd be in union, but it would not have been without him wandering.
Than he came back in late Dec/early Jan. All I wanted was him, but I self sabotaged.
For a good 4+ months all of my astrological zodiac readings for Virgo were his energy. I have been ungrounded, so maybe that was it. I switched to a pick a cards, so I KNEW they were for me. I also read my own tarot, which I've not done for awhile. These pick a card readings as of late have turned into readings for me, with only a bit of his energies in them, to the point where the reader is completely baffled.
I was told last year this time that he & I had a cord happen quickly between us, never put thought into it.
This Psychic predicted that he would come back & she said she felt it was a divine union, possibly a TF. She also stated that there were swans, doves, hummingbirds, & other coupling birds around & this signified his return.
Spirit talks to me whenever he is around.
I was surprised to see the doves, more surprised to see a large hummingbird buzz past the window. It was spirit as hummingbirds are gone in this season.
The way he would talk to me, was spoken to me through spirit. I have adhd, so I can remember things, details in depth about things sometimes.
Anyhow, random readers were popping up in my feed, and I was seeing his thoughts, his current energies of me, & of past in our upset, & how he was beating himself up, & how he broke his heart & mine.
Than in late Jan I did a sacral meditation, that I was barely able to focus in, but it did something powerful, & he felt the pull on a conscious level. That is when I felt his severe sadness for me for about 3.5 hours straight. It was painful.
I've connected with people before energetically, but nothing like this.
Than after the sacral chakra, major telepathy started, it was painful. I felt his sadness. Dreams again, than visions through my third eye. & I felt him touch me inappropriately. Never had I had that before. I ran to the same healer, she told me that when I shared this with her, she said it felt like an odd energy.
Some of the research I've delved into states that what brings twin souls together is physical & sexual attraction. She said he thinks about me relentlessly day & night, & that he was very aggressive, every time she tried pushing his energy out, he'd come back, or she had a hard time doing it. She said I was feeling the way I had, because of his attachments through me.
She said, he had more attachments than I did, but that I felt them more.
Another thing I've read is that the Divine feminine is usually spiritually aware, but the divine masculine is not. But his higher self is, as it has been talking to me.
I wondered why his surface energy did not mimic his thoughts, but again we all have the ability to not act on everything we feel. ... until our last conversation. See he'd NEVER asked me for physical, that was one of the things I really liked about him.
Now, I know when you have someone, anyone around you, they'll show up in readings, their energies, but this was different. Often when I am around people long enough I'll pick up on their thoughts, things like that, or spirit will talk to me, or something. Again, this felt different. This was very strong.
I was more fearful of his pain that I felt, but I didn't know how else to stop it, I only knew what was done before. I didn't want to lose him. I was told by the same Psychic earlier that I should not go to any mediums, healers, psychics to pay for their services, & that I needed to go within to work it out, as I have the ability, but I was in a depressed state, & this brought me even more to my knee's, it floored me. I couldn't move.
Again every time something happened, I was shown or the info came, but I couldn't be quiet enough to know better. Trust me it's coming.
Sorry, I cannot give simple answers.
So, I disabled our connection on insta, & BAM the connection ended. But I freaked out, & told this energy healer I did NOT want to lose him. She assured me that only toxic cords & attachments were cut. To her, sexual thoughts are toxic, I guess we as humans make it so, he wasn't respecting me with his thoughts, & it was really uncomfortable. & she said there is still a cord, & other attachments. & she stopped sending the energy.
I did not mean to misuse her, or play with fire, I still wasn't able to stop, & this healer brought to my attention that I had attachments, & I should try to figure them out, & that he could just leave now, but he was still in my aura, but she also said if I wanted him back, I could, as energy travels. She said I was still seeking him, but he wasn't. So possibly maybe just a guy. But in the past, the cord she cut with two others, one I'd only known for a short few months, & she cut it in a matter of hours. The second man, whom she said is a soulmate, we'd worked together & had major connection for almost a year, & that cord was also cut in a matter of days.
This one couldn't be, & even after it's been cut, there is still another cord. & she worked at the first for about 1+ weeks, daily. Maybe it has no bearing, no idea. & maybe it is the amount of thought I've put into it that makes it so, but being told randomly that this is TF or soul twin or divine union, & basically being the exact same person....idk...
So coming back, for a good 2 weeks there, the sexual thoughts started happening again, though they were more so mild, & visions, & dreams again, & astral travel, & it was becoming more vivid. & I started seeing things about him.
Right after I did the sacral chakra meditation, 2 doves showed up again, & I'd not seen them since November, & I felt a pull, a longing again.
A couple of weeks ago, when there was another upset in speaking with him, I had doves Cooing outside my window, never heard them before.
After he blocked me, later that night I had another dove coo outside my window, but more so at a distance, & today, one dove flew on the house across from me, that is all I saw. It has been a couple of weeks since I saw the last two there.
Now, maybe it was the full moon, but I felt a bit sad & also calm, good, better.
I still have the odd thoughts of him, come in, but it is very vague/distant. I have been told we are still attached.
& again, I thought of pushing hard to go back there, but I've been pulled in another direction as of late. & today something amazing happened, & I'm not going back up there to live.
If he IS a twin soul, & I've been told it's over, & I've been told there is still a deep unconditional love there. I was told to WAIT, I couldn't. He came back & asked for the thing that I couldn't understand, his thoughts...why they seemed so different. I was told that if we came together we'd have great growth, & he'd not leave. He is as broken as I am. I don't know if he has the self awareness to see the problem within. He has the intuition, so perhaps one day.. I am also in a fairly poor state mentally, & physcially. But I am & have been working on the change, & I want it bad now.
I've never had so many supernatural things go on with ONE person, especially one that is not aware.
I am told he may still come around, but I'm not waiting. There is somethings I REALLY want for myself. This is my turning point. I still think on him, & even want him, but we're so toxic to one another at this time. I've had another mans energies coming to me, though I've not met him yet, & I'm not ready for it yet, but I never close off the heart.
Another thing that happened, was I started taking on his emotions before he blocked me. & I'd done something, & I felt a movement in my heart chakra, & thoughts on him. Than some more info popped up about twin souls sharing the same chakra system.
Maybe not, Idk.
Or maybe what they call a fake TF, before the real one. But I have seen so many opposing documentation from people that are clairvoyant ect ect, that have gone down this journey, some say that they've spoken directly to spirit & that the TF is NEVER meant to be romantic or to come together, but to be drawn closer to the divine, & faith, & to purge the issue's from within, to fix, & go into alignment to what our greatest purpose is, & I have one, this is my heart project.. Than I've seen the others that say, it is meant to be, same folk that are also clairvoyant, that have spoken to spirit directly, & that it is meant to be.
I know that everything is general. & everything is going to also be different for each individual journey.
I was seeing that he was raising in vibration with his new beau, & that I wasn't going to be able to catch up, but yet he still felt the pull to come back to me.
Than this energy healer told me HE is not on par with me, spiritually. & if I were to take off here in the next little while, & become better & heal, that he would never be able... to be on the same page, & she said EVEN if he DID have the ability to show me any compassion, it wouldn't be enough. She said, he was never meant to be. & that it would take him YEARS to have any of those in depth compassion & ability to not hide or lie to himself. I don't hold it against him, that is what happens as children growing up in trauma. If I could be there for him, I always would be, but I need hard boundaries.
I have felt deep love for him, & I have felt in love with him. I don't even know him. I am either really nuts, or very open spiritually. & with a lot more to learn. Normally with other men that have come & gone from life, it is my mental health that attaches to them, and cannot let go of the pain or sorrow for months. Even when it ends. I think the toxic cords would have kept us together, or had him come back, but...as it is
I feel like, Spirit is helping me process this, or maybe the full moon, but like I've come to the realization that it's all good, & keep going. It is still sad, & in the morning's I awake with great sorrow, but that's about it. If he comes back, so be it. Spirit has also said he wants to, or he may dependent on what I do with a project because he is apparently forever watching.
Again, no idea, I've cut off all my social platforms atm, until I get the project on the go.
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